And now that I've the time to blog, I have to say, I'm really relieved this whole paper-writing thing is done.
4123 words leh.
So damn long... so many papers to read... couldn't go out, felt stressed and all last weekend.
Strangely though, now I feel so empty. Tired, perhaps, from the 3-4 hours of sleep I managed to get this morning and the sleep deficit I've accumulated throughout the week; feeling abit down, maybe, as the caffeine and chocolate high I had from this morning's gone and coke's not absorbed yet.
Hmm.

I realise that I may be addicted to the thrill of completing things at the last minute. Completed my paper today at 3:15pm, went to stopford building to print it and reached at 3:30pm. Went into Microlab 3, this computer lab near the entrance. Discovered I couldn't print.
Thought OK, there's still another lab. Went to above-mentioned lab (microlab 4). Yay. After some minor alterations to my document (am using openoffice) printed a copy.
Tried to print another as we need to submit two. Couldn't.
Discovered my credit was negative. Checked time: 415pm.
Ran up to common room where there's a stall selling drinks and stuff, bought a coke, ran down to top up printing credit. (The machine's in microlab 3.)
Ran back to Microlab 4, managed to print out another copy.
Time check: 430pm.
Went to bind my stuff - long queue. Decided I might as well drink my coke, since I'd bought it.
Went up to submit after it was done : 450pm.
Deadline for submission was 5pm.

For some reason i couldn't help smiling throughout the whole process.

Oh no.

Thanks everyone. :D

Quotes of the day!
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. - Wolfgang Pauli (1900 - 1958), on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague
Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything. - John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - )
[Poetry] is the lava of the imagination whose eruption prevents an earthquake. - Lord Byron (1788 - 1824)
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel
I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. - Herbert Rappaport
A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost. - Ferdinand Foch (1851 - 1929)

Get them from Quotationspage

Yeah that was lame I know.
But seriously. Did I blog something about jokes before? In case you haven't read that, I once borrowed this book from the library, written by this jewish author, on jokes. Analysing the reasons why jokes are funny, why we find certain jokes funny but not anothers, and the like.
Gave some concrete examples of Jewish jokes which I didn't find any funny at all. Well I guess which proved his point.
But thing is, I didn't get Any of his jokes in the book. It was written quite some decades ago, but do jokes really change so fast?
I mean, I have quite an old-school sense of humour I believe (my toot-ness) so eh. Does dissecting a joke really remove the humour from it? (yeah med and/or health science students might get this one)
Oh well.

You know, its quite weird how the Brits are known for their dry humour. I mean, with the constantly overcast weather and incessant drizzle, you would expect a lot more moisture in their humour wouldn't you?
And yet the Americans are the ones who excel at telling dirty jokes.
I really wonder why.

I believe I'm currently on a high from eating a rich icing-coated carrot-and-walnut-cake with lots of sugar innit, and reading silly lame jokes.
I believe the world is round, the sky is blue, and I am hallucinating.
I can bet this cake contains quite a bit of alcohol.

Now that I've sufficiently recovered from my illness (I feel) and nasty experience at the GP, I can objectively write about what I've been through the past few days.
Can't remember when my illness started. Must have been quite long, as some of you remember. Started off with sore throat, occasional stomach upsets, nausea and lethargy, generally. And some episodes of fever.
On Sunday night it reached 38 degrees. I was like, OK, need to see a doc. Called to say I needed an urgent appointment, was told by the nurse I would have to go at 12:45 and still have to wait. (It was 830am.)
Thought hey, at least I've an appointment for the day itself, not like the previous time where they said I'd hafta wait 2 weeks. Yeah seriously. So reached there around 12:15pm.
Got a queue number, waited.. hey I actually got called in at 12:50pm! Thought to myself, not bad.
Well guess what. Objectively speaking, the GP was the worst doctor I've seen in my life.
EVERYTHING we've been taught not to do, she did; EVERYTHING we were instructed to do, she didn't.
Let me describe.
Look of disdain - irritation, even? - "So what's wrong with you?"
"I've got a sore throat for the past few weeks, some episodes of stomach upset, and fever, etc..." Tried to explain.
Got cut off in less than a minute.
By this curt nod. And her rising off her perch.
Walked over, without a smile (and slight look of irritation?? on her face) and felt for the lymph nodes in my neck. Painfully. "You feel pain there?"
"Aaaah! Yes..."
Curt nod again. Shone torch in both pupils. Rotated my head around (?? Someone tell me why??)
And then wrote down a prescription. Said to me, "Take these, 21, and you will be fine."
Antibiotics. No mention of completing the course, taking how many times a day, etc.
Yes just antibiotics. Nothing for fever and sore throat. Well nothing for analgesia/pain relief lah.
End of appointment.

I was like. WTF man.
Its been 3 days and I'm still smarting over it. You know I actually think it might be the first case of discrimination I've encountered? She was an Indian female in her 50s or 60s, and I heard laughter when the previous patient was in the room. An Indian, obviously.
Yes you know me, I usually am Completely colour-blind and completely imperceptive when it comes to such stuff.
I was that affected.

But.
Logically thinking, it can't be discrimination, since racism is well and truly wiped out in this free country.
So it all boils down to medical professionalism, and doctor-patient communication.
One of the core reasons why doctor-patient communication is so much emphasised in our curriculum.

Oh by the way I'm sufficiently recovered, fever's more or less gone and throat's feeling much better. Can swallow solid food now ;)

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Its snowing!!! YAY!!!! :D
Ventured out into the snow to do my laundry today. Thought I'd wear a little more, with jeans replacing my shorts. Slippers still on.
I'm glad I returned in one piece, with my toes still intact.
But it was fun hehe!
:D

Just felt like watching a movie this whole week. Escape from reality for that few minutes, really.
Finally got the chance to, just now. Watched The Weather Man.
Go watch it.
For some reason I just felt like saying, Love you, Mum. And Dad. And my whole family.
In fact, to everyone I know. I love you all.
Its never too late to say "I love you" to anyone you love, really.

Words of interest for today:
Jobernowl - Blockhead
Logodaedalus - Someone skilled in the manipulative use of words
Incompossible - Incapable of co-existing
Supernaculum - To the last drop

;)

Its strange how things turn out in the end.
I got rejected in my application for Lemington, the house (hall accommodation) I was to share with the girls (and guy).
This might seem hypocritical, but seriously, if my application had gone through successfully, I wouldn't have known how to decide. I took such a long time to submit the form, precisely because I thought I'd made up my mind, but then this alternative popped up.
Basically I'm sharing a flat with 2 other medics, nice place, carpark spaces, ensuite toilet, and its ground floor with a porch that opens up into the carpark so bbq is possible ;)
Oh kitchen, dryer, washing machine, fridge and freezer provided, utility bill is capped for the year.
But yeah. If I had gotten Lemington, I would really have been torn - would i honour a promise I'd made, or go for a decidedly better option?
Hmm. What do you think, my friends.

I have to confess, I am not an altrustic person. I do not want to know every detail of your life, I do not want to be the person that your pour your heart out to.
I get the impression you want my empathy, you want me to care, you want me to be a pillar of support behind that fragile wall.
Don't you understand I can't? I'm not as nice a person I seem to be. I dictate how my heart works, and I have to cage it, sometimes. I just don't have the capacity to care for you if I don't feel I can count on you.
Yes I am a mercurial person, didn't you know that?
Yes I do have a barometer when it comes to making soulmates - if you don't fit my criteria, if you don't know what you want in life, if I don't agree with your goals in life, I'm sorry but I can't trust you with the depths of my heart.
Murky as they are.

Just feel like letting this out, really. Aforementioned person doesn't know of the existence of this blog, I hope.
Come to think of it, I don't care if he/she knows. I'm really tired of distancing myself when I haven't had the need to do so ever before.

Feeling sorry, isolated and alone
Out in this wilderness of a winter wonderland
I search for my sweet cherry
Buried beneath layers of filth.
I'm not an innocent boy after all,
Much as I try to make it true.

It snowed today. I missed most of it.

There are some days which are just wretched, aren't there? Where despite doing everything that's cheered you up in the past, you just can't seem to right any wrong? When even the fresh unsullied snow mocks you instead of lightening that oppresive load on your mind?

Sigh. Another one of those days.

I have this thing about watches.
I remember in the past, when I was in primary and even secondary school (started from p4 I think) I used to change watches once a year. Yah quite a waste of money come to think of it. But my excuse then to my mum would always be, the battery's running out! (And indeed they Do run out after one year, or thereabouts) And she would bring me shopping for watches. One of the rare things I liked to shop for. Yes I hated shopping.
Oh she would always bring me to this small shop in Thomson Plaza, which sold, and still sells I think, Casio watches. Authorised dealer leh. So yah, I would just go there, happily choose a watch, be told it doesnt look nice on me, insist on it, and get it. I guess I sorta knew the price range my mum was looking at too, and 'upgraded' my watches like slowly, as I grew up.
Oh approaching JC I had this stainless steel watch which I kept for two years. Loved it, but it got lost in the army. Sigh.
Bought my first watch, using my own money, in the army. Cost me a bomb then, like, 3/4 of my allowance.
Promised myself then that I'll wear it for as long as I can - and I still am wearing it. In fact, I don't think I'll ever change it - I have another one for more formal events [yup thanks for the watch guys ;) ] and that might change as I conform to societal pressures - but this one will always be with me. Heck I'll keep it in a glass box or something if its beyond reasonable repair.
Yup I just like the versatility of it - the stainless steel and 'hands' giving it some form of sensibility; the alternating rubber pieces showing my individualistic side (conforming, yet rebelling, at the same time); the electronic functions, and the digital time shown, lurking beneath its sensible exterior; the horribly loud colours of the backlight (purple and green) providing conversational topics (I like it despite its flaws)...
I just love my watch.

No this is not some random rant or egoistic display of pretentious pride, btw, though I do love my watch.

What you need to do is to look into his or her eyes, listen to what he/she is saying, and make him/her believe he/she is the only one in the world worth listening to - the focal point of the universe - in that whole conversation. Suspend all personal beliefs temporarily; take note of every detail he/she is saying; show that you are taking note.
Then if you want to disagree, don't take a stand. Let him/her take it. Ask him/her questions that prove the validity of his/her statement. Ask nicely. Show that you are really interested in the statement - believe it is true - but just want to clarify some simple doubts about certain minute details.
Applying this to a large group - speak to each and every member of the audience. Converse with them, with your eyes. Don't look through them as if they are ants in a horde, waiting to bite at every wrong word you utter - look at them. You are on their side.
And wear a suit.

Yup too much coffee again. Just thinking aloud, in general. And yeah I admit I do do the above, sometimes when I talk to you, my dear friends. And I know this might sound quite artificial now, but that is because I really want to get to know you better, no ulterior motives like getting a raise or something for me. There is a reason why I've taken my blog add off my friendster profile - I've let you, yup you selected few, know of the existence of this blog because I want you to know me.
I'm not really a good person either - I assume a different exterior, one that perhaps people just want to know - but I know I don't have any regrets in what good friends I've made over the years, and whom I've let slip my innermost feelings and thoughts.

Don't know why, but I recall this moment when Shumei and I were having this conversation in this quaint little cafe (Big Hands) near university. There were people around, so I started using words like "copulation" and "declarations of love" hoping nobody'd notice such archaic language.
Hoping lah.
But yeah. She said something in response I'd remember for life - "What declarations of love lah, copulation lah... Yuan.. why you so toot one?"
But I am, what. Don't see why I should change this side of myself.
;)

I'm down with the flu.
Well, technically, I don't know for sure, since I only have a running nose, slight cough and fever. And haven't had any tests done to confirm whether I've been infected by a virus, bacteria, fungus or other assorted micro-organisms.
But yeah. Tried to sleep the whole day off today. Drank like 6 litres of water? Tried to flush out everything, basically.
And had ice-cream, chocolates and 2 bananas in strawberry and toffee sauce.
I need the energy to fight the infection lah. Staving off invaders is quite tiring for the defenders of your immune system you know.
But yeah. Declared to all and sundry that I'm sick (on msn), and a senior msged me, asking if I was lovesick.
No I'm not, but it definitely doesn't help.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Erm yeah. I do realise also that I derive pervese pleasure from throwing out pseudo-cheem english phrases and words in my writing. Somehow it helps me let off steam lah.
Please forgive me yah? If I've hurt you, my reader, unwittingly, I sincerely apologise for my lack of decorum, good taste (in words) and a fake arrogance I can't take off my persona.
Sorry lah.

And to prove that my mind is still working, here's one example of what I've just memorised:
You know the mucociliary escalator I was writing about the last time? The swallowing of assorted bacteria, dust and the debris your vacuum cleaner missed the last time you swiped it on the floor? Well it doesn't just work from nose to gullet. It also works from lungs to gullet. So basically you swallow all of the above, AND that damn chemical you smelled and swore never to get close to again in the secondary school/JC science lab.

On a lighter note, we have such a great immune system that we can afford the over 50 million macrophages (blood cells that 'eat' bacteria and assorted junk) that perish in that same mucus each day after doing what it is they're supposed to do.

Oh you don't want to hear about disgusting mucus anymore? OK then, here's another interesting tidbit. If your lungs ever collapse (due to various reasons, like a stab to the chest) it is relatively easy to remove the air in your pleural cavity. Basically you just need to stick a tube (after adminstering local anasthetics, of course) and let the air and/or blood flow out. Your lungs will 'reinflate' after some time.

And if ever you feel that you should take up smoking, here's another interesting one: if you are male, 15-30, and smoke heavily, you're more likely to suffer from a spontaneous pneumothorax. Basically means your lungs will 'deflate' (sorta) for no reason.
Of course you might die from it.


And yes I do realise I'm posting quite morbid stuff. But are we not morbid creatures seeking to run free, underneath all that mascara and machismo?

I feel old, immature, brash, indecisive, soothed, yet rumpled. All at the same time.

And I feel like getting a car. :(

I was in a dream of my own
Wandering through the aimless night
When you called my name.
Once, twice - I heard it resonate in the sky
Seeing it, hearing it.

I've not fallen to such depths
Of this abyss so sweet
Enveloping, distracting, basking me in its cold hard shadow
Oh so sweet.

Such a mishmash, such a mess
Such is the sweet sugar of love.
So powerful, so non-dimensional,
Yet so very real.

Can I be sure of hers
Mine, or the eyes of others lying so distant
They could never know?

Oh how I am struck by the pangs of love
Clawing, tearing, decimating.
Oh sweet, sweet love.


Wonder how a psychologist would read into this.
Oh was studying in the library today (still am at the time of writing) and felt bored. Started writing and hey it developed a mind and momentum of its own. Perhaps partially fuelled by Faithless, chocolate-covered coffee beans and Skittles. And pure, unadulterated boredom, of course.

You know how some people just make you let down your guard subconsciously, implacably, insuperably?
How he/she breaks down that sky-high wall you've constructed around yourself to prevent those darn chemicals from seeping in - with so much ease that you wonder why you built them in the first place?
How he/she makes you lose that last ounce of self-control you possessed when dealing with people.
How he/she unleashes the darkest secrets you've kept buried deep beneath the murky depths of your heart.
How he/she makes you realise how vulnerable you really are, beneath that dark exterior - that masquerade mask you constantly wear - up till now.

How he/she makes you consume just that one more bar of chocolate without feeling any guilt whatsoever.

;)

http://netdoctor.msn.co.uk/uk/msn/news/index.jsp?id=6943&D=23&M=1&Y=2006

Hmm.

Perhaps I should really make a top 50 songlist. OK here's one then. Wanted to rank them but realised I really can't do so. I really like these songs, all of them.
1. Howie Day - Collide
2. Embrace - Gravity
3. Audioslave - Be Yourself
4. Snow Patrol - How To Be Dead
5. Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated
6. Bodyrockers - I Like The Way
7. Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
8. Papa Roach - Scars
9. Apocalyptica - Ruska
10. Faithless - Don't Leave
11. The Eagles - Hotel California
12. Led Zepplin - Stairway To Heaven
13. Jars Of Clay - Love Song For A Saviour
14. 3 Doors Down - Be Like That
15. Lifehouse - You And Me
16. Fun Lovin' Criminals - I'm Not In Love
17. Fatboy Slim feat. Macy Gray - Demons
18. Britney Spears - Toxic
19. Simple Plan - Perfect
20. Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
21. Cake - I Will Survive
22. Smashmouth - I'm A Believer
23. Creed - One Last Breath
24. Dido - Thank You
25. Five For Fighting - Superman (It's Not Easy)
26. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
27. Gomez - Shot Shot
28. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
29. Hoobastank - The Reason
30. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl
31. Maria Mena - You're The Only One
32. Massive Attack - Angel
33. Moby - Porcelain
34. Norah Jones - Come Away With Me
35. Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger
36. Our Lady Peace - Whatever
37. Robbie Williams - She's The One
38. Scissor Sisters - Filthy/Gorgeous
39. Sepultura - Roots Bloody Roots
40. Maxi Jazz feat. Robbie Williams - My Culture
41. Prodigy - Firestarter
42. The Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy Hey Girl
43. U2 - Beautiful Day
44. Avril Lavigne - I'm With You
45. Coldplay - Yellow
46. Audioslave - Show Me How To Live
47. Fatboy Slim - Slash Dot Slash
48. Chantal Kreviatzuk - Leaving On A Jet Plane
49. Fun Lovin' Criminals - Scooby Snacks
50. Basement Jaxx - Do Your Thing

Sorry ah kiezin only read your blog today and knew i kena meme-ed heh.
Alright here goes then. (Sam I'll do urs later heh)
Rules:
1. Post the top 20 OR 30 OR 50 most frequently played songs in your player for the past one year.
2. Name five victims to pass the game on.

OK here are my top 50 songs (in alphabetical order of artists):
1. 3 Doors Down - Better Life
2. 8mm - Nobody Does It Better
3. Apocalyptica - Epilogue (Relief) [Reflections]
4-5. Apocalyptica - Life Burns!; Ruska [Apocalyptica]
6-12. Audioslave - Cochise, Show Me How To Live, Gasoline, What You Are, Like A Stone, Getaway car, The Last Remaining Light [All from album: Audioslave]
13-14. Audioslave - Be Yourself, Doesn't Remind Me [Album: Out Of Exile]
15. Basement Jaxx - Do Your Thing
16-17. Blur - Crazy Beat, Sweet Song [Album: Think Tank]
18. Blur - Song 2
19-21. Bodyrockers - Handel On Your Face, I Like The Way, Round and Round
22. Bread - Make It With You
23. Britney Spears - Toxic
24. Cake - I Will Survive
25-26. The Calling - Wherever You Will Go, Stigmatized (Album: Camino Palmero)
27. Chantal Kreviatzuk - Leaving On A Jet Place
28. Charles Wright & The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band - Express Yourself (Mocean Worker Remix)
29. Christina Aguilera - Beautiful
30. Coldplay - Yellow
31-34. Creed - With Arms Wide Open, Higher, One Last Breath, My Sacrifice
35. Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter (Acoustic Version)
36. Daniel Powter - Bad Day
37. Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated
38-39. Dave Matthews Band - 41, Crash Into Me
40. Death In Vegas - Hands Around My Throat
41-42. Dido - Here With Me, Thank You
43-44. Dire Straits - Romeo And Juliet, Brothers In Arms
45. Dope - No Chance
46. The Dysfunctional Psychedelic Waltons - Payback Time
47. Eagle-eye Cherry - Save Tonight
48-50. Eagles - Hotel California, Desperado, Get Over It

How ah. I'm still stuck at E.

On a lighter note, the skiing trip was AWESOME.
Picked up skiing again, and by the end of the week was skiing down slopes so steep they'd need an hour and a few hundred calories (not to mention litres of water) to climb.
Got so high skiing down those same slopes at such high speeds, yet knowing I could control how I'd end up1 at the bottom (but for once) that I ended up doing more than 10 ski runs a day on the final few days. Yep basically took different chair lifts (those dangling thingies) up various slopes2, and whizzed down them feeling absolutely exhilarated.
And it wasn't just the skiing that was good. Dinner we had each night was absolutely amazing - got to try different dishes like paella, meat fondue3, marvellous steaks and amazingly fresh oysters. Was looking forward to trying something different every night.
And the company was great too. Mark, with two of his cambridge female friends...
Oh did I mention I got to use ALL of my medication I brought along for the first time? The dressings and antiseptic cream; the bo zhai pills; the medicated oil... Panadol was almost used too. Damn drama-packed trip, with one female friend suffering from various ailments, not to mention our getting injured in various places and suffering from assorted strained muscles, of course.

Absolutely amazing trip, I tell you.

____________________________________________________________________
1 Still standing, but of course.
2 Some classified "advanced" - for advanced skiiers.
3 Meat fondue, apparently, is really just (slightly marinated) meat dipped in hot oil. Yes not kidding.

A cascade of events
So unpredictable.
Don't know how it started
Or its torturous ending.
Never anticipating; yet always knowing,
How a trip like this would but sadly end.

I should really stop being so nice.

Yes I seem to be fairly stressed recently. I'm going on a ski trip from tomorrow to next sunday, and my exam's on the wednesday after the next.
Yes I'm nowhere near completing my studying.
Yes I'm starting to panic. Just that wee bit.
Yes I'll be bringing my books along to study on the trip, don't you worry.

:P

You know, sometimes the weirdest situations can inspire some good mental exercise. Like just now, when I was sick of studying, had had a meal at Macs, and was walking back in the cold¹, I actually started reflecting on the past year. On how I'm like as a person. How people might perceive me. And the like.
Perhaps the firing of random neurons is one of the ways our body creates warmth and maintains normal body temperature - mental exercise may just be as efficient as the mild physical exertions² you do when you're cold.
I mean seriously, we all know when our mind is focused on something, we tend to forget the various stimuli around us right?
Don't you think this is a reasonable extension of that common phenomenon? The physical and apparent manifestation of but yet another homeostatic mechanism in our iniquitously complicated bodies?
__________________________________________________________________
¹With cup of cold Coke in my hand. Which definitely didn't help the circulation in my hands.
²Like shivering, lah.

It has really been a great year, 2005.
Went to London, then Sheffield (and Peterborough), then London again, then back to Sheffield! In the space of 2 weeks. Which was extremely fun, heart-warming, and... just great, really.
Visited my parents' friend's family (and his brother's family), my aunt(+husband) from Australia (and her daughter + husband, yep the one who lives in London), Deb and Jessica.
*contented sigh*

And its not just the past 2 weeks. The whole year... its been really eventful. Perhaps one of the best years of my life up to now in fact. Shall elaborate when I feel more... reflective.

Now I'm happy just to bask in my contentment and enjoyment of this wonderful moment. :)

Its just pure unadulterated joy when you receive a package. Perhaps part of it is derived from the anticipation - will it come, or won't it? when will it come? Or perhaps it is more to do with the element of surprise, just as you think you don't have a parcel after all, but still check the noticeboard anyways, there! You see your name! Imagine the surprise and delight. Imagine the glee as you discover it is, indeed, for you.
I just looooooove receiving parcels.
Thank you Christina :D

Now that everything's done and I've time to blog, I feel its convenient to remember that I went on a road trip on Saturday. Yup rented a car with 4 other friends, and went driving to several places.
Well we'd planned to drive to Bath only initially, 'cause of its Christmas Market, but decided it'd be too much of a waste renting a car for 55 pounds (for the weekend) so yeah. Planned to go to several other cities at the same time.
So yep covered Strafford(-on-Avon), Cardiff, Bath and Bristol (in that order). Cardiff and Bristol we just drove around, parked the car in some illegal spot and popped down for a while - Cardiff 'cause we were stuck in a jam going there and were rushing to Bath; Bristol 'cause it was dark and it looked real boring.
But yeah. The cities/towns were cool!
And I drove for part of the way back! Manual car leh. Max speed 110 miles per hour. Haha yeah you go calculate. But for the most part kept to the speed limit of 70 miles lah.
Quite fun actually, considering the fact I've never driven a manual after the test.

Watched Miss Saigon today!
The guy playing the Engineer was damn good.
Oh I've discovered the ultimate combination : Dark chocolate with cherries.
Both ingredients are readily available from your local supermarket - like I bought mine from Tesco's - and you can eat in as crude or sophisticated a way you want¹, but the effect works just the same. Its a great depression-buster, and as long as you are secure in the fact that you need to consume 3500 calories to gain a pound (0.45kg), and that 100g² of (tesco's) dark chocolate contains only 490 calories, you need not feel guilty at all about it.
I believe the brands of chocolate you get in Singapore taste better too. But oh make sure it contains more than 70% cocoa. The contrast will be all the more sharper, and the enjoyment you glean from eating such a sinfully sweet delight will be all the more intense.
Yummy.
__________________________________________________________________
¹I choose to eat in a crude, but time-saving way - popping a chunk of dark chocolate into my mouth, then a cherry. Taking care not to chew on the pit of course.
²Typically equivalent to 8 chunks, each chunk containing 4 'squares'.

You know after all this trouble I went to, the tutor wasn't at the lesson today.
Fucking hell.

Was reading up today for tuesday's case when I realised why NUS (and elsewhere) only offers top students (academically and otherwise) for medicine¹. You really have to study so much for med. I know this may sound very bhb, as a med student, but I think many med students articulate this idea thru physical manifestations like developing white hair, suffering from stress and depression, and becoming caffeine addicts.
Seriously. Its like, after reading up so much and taking stock of what I've covered in the weeks before, I've realised that I really am lagging behind. In terms of each topic - be it bone ossification, embryological development, immunology, or ageing, as I'm reading up now - the amount of stuff to be covered is just daunting.
No I'm not getting disheartened by the mountains of knowledge that are in the library I have yet to discover, its more like, wow. I really have been slacking for far too long. The isolated nights spent in the library studying - I'm actually proud of them, when others probably regard nightly visits to the library (or spent studying at home) as 'normal', and would be aghast at the amount of time I waste chatting online and doing assorted time-consuming stuff that have no benefit to my studies, or otherwise.

I now postulate several reasons why doctors are perceived as aloof and distant -
1. They are aloof. 'Cause with the enormous amount of information you know, as well as the knowledge that you can actually save or treat a person, some people may be so secure in their status that they become too self-confident. Feel that some people really waste their own lives by destroying themselves with alcohol and drugs. Or give up on themselves (when they're sick) with no apparent reason.
2. They lose the 'human touch', the social interaction that everyone needs outside his or her occupation. Basically they lose empathy in the eyes of their patients.
I believe this perception of doctors is changing - rather, most doctor and educators are actively trying to change this perception. I don't know about other schools, but here they seem to stress a lot about empathising with the patient and communication skills. How to make people feel they are being listened to. How to treat illnesses psychologically as well as medically.

Hmm veered off topic there. But yeah. Did I tell you I had an interview with my tutor on Friday? He told me I was too quiet, not actively participating in class discussions. Wanted me to speak up more, especially in the next session, or he'd give me a mark for PBL that's in the last 10% of the cohort.
I realise he doesn't see why I haven't been speaking up, and shall have to show him some 'power' on tuesday. But I guess he was correct when he said I have to re-examine the reasons (for myself) why I haven't spoken up often (though I must stress, I have when the need arises). I'm too nice - I put too much emphasis on group harmony and don't like discord. And of course, more importantly, I haven't read up enough.
I realise there are members in the group who always seem to cover what I've covered - and much more.
And no they're not no-life creatures who spout medical phrases (and only medical facts) and spend their eternal life in libraries huddled in the most obscure corners - a particularly brilliant one is a sportswoman who's in the school hockey team and medic's football team, I think, as well.
I realise I've just got to organise my time more efficiently.
Holidays are coming up - I really need to think of timetables as schedules that help me, and not weird contraptions mad scientists with frizzly hair use such that they do not forget to brush their teeth at regular intervals.

_______________________________________________________________
¹And its not just medicine. I believe it applies just as well to pretty much any other subject which requires intense memory work. Like law, chemical engineering, and biomedical sciences. The list isn't exhaustive.

After months and months of searching, I've finally found a pair of shoes that I like!!! YAY!!!! :D

My father once expounded this fact of marriage to me: You just have to keep on falling in love with your partner - again and again - for your marriage to work.
Today, I found out that it applies just as well to the subject I've chosen to study.
Last night (this morning, rather), a friend suddenly complained of chest pain just after we played a computer game. I was damn worried¹ and rushed to his room, you know, just in case I had to do something drastic, ie, CPR.
Thankfully nothing happened, and he seemed alright after that, but it really reminded me of how important what I had learnt was.
You know, somehow, subconsciously, I've spent the night here at the library studying with renewed vigour, when I had lost quite some motivation to study the past week. Its as though an important stimulus has triggered my brain cells to proliferate the sense of urgency that I've been lacking the past few weeks².
I guess for whatever subject you're doing, you just have to search for - or just notice - your own stimuli that you need from what's happening around you.
And mei, it doesn't have to be medicine or any health-related occupation - just recognise and realise what you are really interested in (for pa it was the structures around him, for me its the people in my life) - and choosing a course won't be much of a difficult decision.
You have four months for you to explore all the options out there - for NUS, application deadline is 1st April, for UK its june - and I'm sure you'll find the right one. (No I'm not pressurising you :P)
And to the rest of my friends, I'm sure you've found your reason for whatever it is you're doing - if not yet, I'm sure you will soon. :)

Yup feeling particularly pensive today.

________________________________________________________________
¹ From what he described, I couldnt be sure whether it was angina, or just something less malignant.
² Yes I'm studying cancer and cell proliferation now.

Went out with two friends on friday night, somehow ended up in a big tesco which sold lots of yummy chocolate desserts.
Didn't know a friend - well, senior, technically, Exactly one year older than I am, in fact - had a weakness for chocolate too.
And made a huge mistake - I should really have stopped a friend from bringing a trolley in, when I knew the consequences - and we ended up buying 6 desserts. Yeah mostly chocolate ones.
Went back to said senior's place, made another huge mistake in opening the seals from all the desserts.
After two desserts, we actually got so sick of them that we had to play assorted games like Indian poker, table tennis and table soccer to finish them.

Seriously, you can get sick of too much chocolate. Even for a chocolate lover like me. And you know how much of a chocolate lover I am, so yeah.
Put me off chocolatey stuff for a whole day.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Right.....

I'm now treasurer.
Interesting ah, I'm treasurer again after all these years.

Decided to pamper myself today. Bought some mixed seafood (squid, mussels, prawn - from sainsbury's) and beansprouts, cooked myself laksa! Had resisted the urge to utilise the laksa mix Mum had sent me until now.
Niiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeeeee!
:D

It snowed today!!! YAY!!!!!!!
Pity I couldn't capture any good photos today though, had quite some work to rush through (studying) before I left for dissection lesson.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I've decided to run for VP.

Was cooking noodles just now when I realised something - you don't need chicken (meat) to actually cook chicken soup noodles. You just need chicken stock.¹
Which made me think.
You don't need love, you just need a semblance of it.
Indeed, why do we seek that elusive thing called 'love' when it is all around us?

And of course, you don't need actual CDs. You just need mp3s.


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¹And something that tastes or has the texture of chicken - well, vaguely, at least - like mushrooms (chewy) or ham. Though adding ham would be kinda cheating.

Its amazing how small the world we know is.
Just met a few secondary school classmates today in nottingham - alex, malcolm and tszehan, if u know them.
Met Daphne too.
And a few other people from cambridge.

Oh got kicked out in the semi-finals of bridge. Some would argue it technically isn't a sport, but hey, it requires just as much concentration, effort and energy as any other sport. Wasn't unhappy with the result, put it down to luck, seriously, but yeah was glad the other team from Manchester got 2nd place. We deserved it.

And I'm still pondering which post I should take up this year.

You fit in with: Humanism Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations. 0% scientific. 40% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Interesting.

Its never good to shut yourself out from the world when you're not feeling happy.
And yet that is what I tend to do.

Its not just the cold. Neither is it just the realisation that I'm that far behind others in terms of work and I really need to catch up, that to realise my ambitions I have to be working much harder than I am now. That I'm not doing work, basically, compared with the rest. That I can't laze around and do last-minute work like in the past.
Or the fact that all I promised myself - I'll be a whole new me - when it comes to work, when I've turned out the same.
Or that I'm starting to miss home. The freedom of driving around in a familiar land, with no worries about anything in the world (besides being caught by the police for speeding). The returning home to my CD collection - there, just waiting to be re-discovered, again and again.
Nor is it the fact that I'm once again faced with the dilemma of whether to take up a position of responsibility, and why, indeed, I wanted to do so in the very first place.
Its also not just the amount of calories I've ingested - chocolates, cookies and all, and no output (have stopped going to the gym).

Its all of the above, obviously.

I need :
1) An exercise partner
2) A person to go travelling with
3) A chum to go to concerts with (classical, rock and all)
4) Someone who understands me, and whom I can understand.

I just said two thousand words. And I'll add three more. Its freezing here.

It was 0.5 degrees celsius today when I walked to uni at 850. Was 2.0 degrees when I walked back at 1055.
And the sun is still shining brightly in the sky.
Wow.

Your Birthdate: March 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame. You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems. Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego. You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance. Your strength: Your bold approach to life Your weakness: You don't accept help Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Pyramid Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Is this true?!!!

I mentioned 4 objects. Here's the 4th.

Two of only four things that adorn the bare walls of my room. (One's in an earlier picture.)
I've just realised these four really reflect important parts of my personality.

Oh bought these at the portabello street market in london. They were just there, right there, begging to be noticed. And noticed them I did. ;)

Sigh.
http://www.bridgewater-hall.co.uk/whatson/detail.asp?event_id=930
Can just imagine this - a good dinner in a fancy restaurant - then this concert...
Only problem is I can't find anyone to partake in this marvellous pseudo-illusion with.
Yeah it'd feel surreal, yet... be so very real.

1. I realise I haven't been making much notes in the past few weeks. The notes I've made can't even complete 1/4 an A4 pad, whereas some of my groupmates have made an entire ring file's worth of them.
2. I realise I need to study a whole LOT more if I'm to catch up with them.
3. I realise I don't really care. Oddly.
No its not the "Leave it to the last minute" syndrome that we're all so used to. (Or perhaps it is, to a certain extent.) Its more the "you study so much, you don't really bother making notes anymore" syndrome, I think. I'm tired of making notes.
Dangerous. I probably won't be able to recall everything come exam time.
I've gotta start making more notes.
Am starting to panic.

http://nobelprize.org/medicine/educational/immunity/immune-overview.html

Learning about immunology now. Above is an introduction to how our immune system works - a kid/adolescent-friendly version I wish I'd encountered earlier.
Wouldn't be suffering so much now, bogged down by details and all :(

Its 4.6 degrees celsius now.
Temperature will drop to 0 on sunday, according to the met service.
And its just the beginning of autumn.

Went to this free lunch-time concert. Some Cypriot pianist playing russian classical songs.
I actually fell asleep you know. Near the end of the concert.
And its not like he wasn't good or anything. Perhaps it was the heavy lunch I took - stir-fry lamb with rice, and a chocolate eclair (which totally sucked), was tired 'cause I slept for 5 hours last night, or the fact dat he played the Montagues and the Capulets (its a song), which was like damn nice, powerful and all - but I actually feel asleep!!!
Oh no. First time I've ever done this in any concert.
Oh no.

Went to the Michael Nyman concert today. Wasn't particularly fantastic, but wasn't too bad either. Yeah went alone, couldn't find anyone who was interested and could make it for a piano concert by a balding old man.
Didn't really concentrate on the music this time (it was so... soothing¹). Mind just wondered on its own. Interesting thoughts that I'd rather not reveal here, but no, none of the sexual nature.
There was this part where he let a film take centre-stage², and he sorta played accompaniment. Think he meant to show how music could affect our viewing of the moving images. Very interesting.
Spent 13.50 quid on the ticket. Quite happy spending the money on this, rather than spending the same amount firing 5 shots at my precious liver.

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¹No I didn't fall asleep :P
²Literally. The film was projected via overhead to this screen. Well, in the middle of the stage. Right smack in the middle.

Do you realise how your body works? There are always highs and lows, particularly in your emotions. So many variables affect your mood - environmental, social, even physical. Your emotions are but the results of these complex factors interacting, battling for control, and eventually settling in some sort of compromise.
If I were a chemist, I would say all these interactions are but the results of chemicals mixing inside our head. Humours, as this philosopher put it.
If I were a psychologist, I would say these emotions are part and parcel of life, and are what makes us human. And perhaps try to hypnotise you.
But I'm not. I'm just a first-year medical student who loves chocolate, coffee and good music.
So I'll just say, whenever you feel down, go exercise - run the treadmill for 10 mins, lift some weights in your room, look at the mirror and flex your muscles - and then have a warm cup of coffee and half a dark chocolate bar. Whilst listening to happy songs like "The Sesame Street Rubber Duckie Song".
I need all of the above now.

I can imagine my dissertion for neuroscience, if I were to take the intercalcated masters in my fourth year, right now.
Music & the Mind - How Music Affects the Function of The Human Brain.

The Logical Song - Supertramp
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
clinical, intellectual, cynical.
There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.
Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,
liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're
acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!
At night, when all the world's asleep,
the questions run so deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am.

Don't Leave by Faithless.
Its a nice song, go listen to it.

Sometimes you just have to take a break from studying, and enjoy life jus dat leeetle bit.
Watched Wallace and Gromit, finally. Decided to watch it on the spur of the moment, but yeah. It was a good show :)
Then had a great dinner. Mixed grill (lamb, steak, chicken, sausage, and some unknown salty meat - prob processed pork) and hear this - hot chocolate fudge cake drenched in hot fudge, with ice-cream!!!
It was simply heavenly I tell u.
Oh. And I had some swedish pear cider (forgot the name). It is damn addictive I tell you. Tasted just like carbonated pear juice, with jus dat hint of alcohol.
That's one drink I don't mind getting drunk on. Seriously.
Wonderful day today.

Found something good about the long nights that have descended upon manchester. Makes you study. Perhaps its just me, but the darkening of the sky serves to remind me that the day is almost over - and since I've not got anything productive (academically) during daylight I have to endeavour to deliver some knowledge into my brain before the next day arrives.
Interesting (grim) fact of the day : 1 in 30 newborn babies will suffer from some serious defect, physical or otherwise, in their lives.
Yes that includes that inability to get sexually stimulated by women prancing about in semi-naked suits and doing assorted odd activities. Like me. Or perhaps its just because I've been learning too much about the reproductive system in men and women.
Oh. Just had dissection lesson again today. Saw the contents of some disembowelled guy's abdomen. Well actually the bowel was still there. So were the intestines and assorted viscera. Their ligaments, surface covering and all were removed though, so we could like study them. And perhaps touch them, to better understand the human body.
Not that anyone wanted to touch them though. There was faeces still stuck in the rectum/sigmoid colon (part of the colon just before the rectum).
Demonstrator told us its natural, 'cause well, you don't plan when you want to die.
Shit happens. Puns intended.
Yes those are my own words.

Having MSN on while you are online is no good.
Especially when you have friends in different timezones.
One goes offline, another comes on.
You don't get any studying done.
All I remember of the 4 hours I've tried to study is the particularly disgusting fact that your respiratory duct has cells that 'sweep' mucus up from your throat - vis bacteria, the slime they produce and other assorted eeky stuff - into your oesphagus.
So basically you're constantly swallowing the various mucky stuff you breathe in.
Yucks. Horrible thought isn't it.

Yes its the weather. Or sky. Its 5:45pm now and it looks like its 8.
Finally I understand why they say its depressing.
No I'm not depressed - just more pensive than usual.

Last night, more people got drunk. Sing-soc party.
I think they've realised I really don't drink much. All they forced me to drink was a cup of white wine. Which was not bad, actually.
Getting less and less interested in parties. Even the singsoc ones seem to degenerate into getting people drunk.
Or maybe its just 'cause I don't believe in socialising under the influence of alcohol. If you have to rely on alcohol to willingly reveal your true self, your innermost thoughts, its quite sad, really.
And the thing is, you willingly dispense with bits of yourself to people you've just met.
Perhaps I'm too uptight - I don't want to be naked (metaphorically and literally) in front of others, even after a few pints (or shots). Or maybe its 'cause I know I will scare people off if I show my ugly side.

Its interesting how the syllabus is planned.
Had a lecture by this philosopher today on abortion, cloning and stuff. Philosophical side of it. Like when we should treat embryos as human beings, potentiality and stuff.
Ended up in a Socratic dialogue - basically he tried to question our (students') beliefs by twisting and turning them around.
Innovative use of Kant and some other philosophical techniques, you know the stretching of certain 'truths' such that they become absurd. For example, if we treat embryos as human beings since they do have the potential to be like you and me, we should all be busy procreating, every single moment of our lives, as otherwise our gametes will be attrited and innocent lives will be lost.
Maybe because I do have some rudimentary knowledge of philosophy, I knew what he was doing right after he deflected a question this naive member of the audience¹ posed.
Anyway, point is, his Socratic dialogue did, in a way, provoke some thought. There was this question he posed - since letting embryos die² was 'natural', so were diseases, why were we studying to become doctors then? Defying the natural order of things, were we not?³
Maybe its my aries character, supporting the underdog and all, but I like the sound of that.

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¹ Who was angered, presumably, by his provocative statements.
² By not using them, from the previous question.
³ Paraphased - I like the sound of this more ;)

Interesting fact of the day : My "Coffee" mug has a volume of 500ml. Jus poured a whole bottle of water in it and it fits real nicely.
Hmm. 7oz (approx 210ml) of coffee contains 95-150mg of caffeine. So I can theoretically consume 350mg of caffeine in one sitting.

Hmm.

Don't know if you can get this in Singapore, but Yeo's Chilli Sauce with Garlic is damn nice. Its like hainanese chicken rice's chilli, but thicker, and more savoury. You can use it as a marinade - my chilli chicken - or use it as, well, chilli sauce. Goes damn well with cross lettuce. Yep tried eating cross lettuce today, raw, with just chilli sauce. To neutralise a little funny taste the leaves have. The stems are just.. crunchy. Yeah, just crunchy, and with that subtle sweetness a herbivore would understand and appreciate. Well, omnivores who know their veggies, too.
Oh I baked a cottage pie today!!! Mashed potato layer lacked a little taste 'cause I used skimmed milk (I only buy skimmed milk here) but yeah. Mince beef layer was good.
Shared the pie with two other lucky flatmates who happened to be watching tv in the kitchen.
Hence the need for fibre now.

Went to London on friday evening, met up with Deb and friends yesterday. Really good trip. Really enjoyed myself. Shopping, well, trying to shop, and just.. hanging out, really.
I guess... it just feels different, hanging out with people of my age. Like, similar background, jc experience and all. Plus, they're really nice people too.
I guess once in a while, you just have to... get in touch with different people. People you knew back in primary and secondary school; jc; army... See life from various perspectives. Reminisce, maybe - you just have to have that common bond, or link, between you, and feel it.
I guess when you're overseas, you really start to appreciate your friends and family. Much more.

I'm reading up on sex today. Yes sex, the actual process of 'doing it', not just the reproductive systems of man and woman. This book, particularly, Human Reproductive Biology, by Richard E. Jones.
He's a really funny guy. Seriously, you should read the chapter on "The Human Sexual Response". Chapter 15. Its interesting enough for an arts student who has absolutely no interest in the medical side of sex, I tell you.
Since I am not allowed to breach copyright laws and copy everything wholesale from his book, I shall let you read it for yourself. Seriously, its worth reading. I mean, how often do you get to read about sex and say its for educational purposes? ;)
Oh there's this later chapter though which I feel is quite true. I'm gonna paraphrase here. Didn't paraphrase the chapter above 'cause they jus don't seem so funny if rephrased ;) ]
Anyways its about 'romantic love'. There are several stages of 'romantic love' - infatuation, attachment, then detachment (naturally). Detachment happens if after 'romantic love', or the intense high u get from being in a relationship with a person you're sexually attracted to, is not supported by other factors of attraction like, well, personalities and stuff. This results in a peak in divorce at about 2-4 years, biological explanation being that's the time our ancestors needed to get pregnant, raise a child, and wean him/her off breastmilk.
How do we avoid this? Well let us first discuss some ancient Greek terms.
Greeks had many words to describe love. Eros - sexual love; Agape - giving, self-sacrificing love; Philia - friendship; Storge - affection.
If we fail to make the transition from eros to development of agape, philia and storge - intimacy, companionship and commitment - separation ensues.
Simple stuff, really.
Is it?

I've found this spot I particularly like in the University. Its this bench in the courtyard of whitworth hall, the main building in the university. You can just sit there, cup of hot (but not too hot) coffee in hand, and enjoy the cool (and sometimes cold) wind blow fallen leaves on the ground. Sorta reminds me of American Beauty come to think of it. The video of the plastic bag luxuriating in the wind. Yes. Luxuriating. :P
You can choose to read, revise, chat, or just watch the world go by. Well, people and cars of assorted shapes and sizes, rather.
But its good.
Shall upload a picture of it one day.

What is it that you seek in a partner? Does he/she have to understand you totally? Or do you not want him/her to understand you entirely, 'cause it'll be too dangerous to know a person that well?
Do you want to share everything with her? Your innermost fears, ambitions, emotions - all that you have?
Is having a partner all about companionship - having a best friend who is more than your 'best-est' friend, (a bosom buddy, if u may, pun intended) - or is it all about committment?
Yes I know that not all things can be be as clear as black and white.
But what shades of grey are you willing to accept? What blend of colours, if you will, do you want in a relationship, a commitment, a life-long promise you just have to keep?
Its interesting, isn't it, all these... chemicals swirling around in your head. How they interact, how they form such curious bonds, and persist in their set ways at the trigger of an event.
Yes I am still the cynical single man who believes that love can happen between almost any 2 people in the world, and can be controlled by the mind.
Its all in the mind, as they say.
Well, or the brain.

You know, walking in the pouring rain, hood on, is an experience in itself. Yeah it makes you think. But thinking aside, its just this... me against the world kinda feeling I guess. You're walking on, plodding on, against the obstacles nature has put in your path. (Like the puddle in front of you, you know your shoes will get wet, very wet - yet, you go ahead and step on it anyways.)
Maybe its just me, but I just love walking in the rain.
Raindrops keep falling on my head....

I really can't dance to R & B music.

I'm really amazed at how much time I've spent studying today, and shocked at how little I've actually covered.
Well I'm actually much more amazed at the former. I've never studied so much on a normal school day before!
And I actually enjoyed my time in the library, didnt know I'd spent so much time there until I got back to prepare for dinner (2 + 2 hours).
Wow.
(No I'm not thinking about the latter. Just yet.)

There's this dilemma - you want to talk to your family because u're in another country and will be so for quite a few more months.
You want to see their faces. Thus you have a web-cam conversation with them.
Do you want to, actually?
Would you want to see their faces, be reminded of the vast distance that separates you from them, be reminded that you're that far away from home?
Had a web-cam conversation with my family yesterday.
You know, I've been telling people I've not been homesick yet, and I'm actually enjoying my life here right now.
I havent been (homesick), and am enjoying my life here in Manchester.
I miss my room now. With all the CDs I have. My trips to Cineleisure (oddly enough, I keep remembering the view you have when you go down the 3rd floor escalator - outside, people strutting their stuff, well, pretending to run, actually; inside, Sembawang Music Store in front of you, and the gangly teenagers surronding you) and driving around in my Grandma's Toyota, taking in the sights all around Singapore....
And yes of course I miss my family now. Seeing them in the study room... it just seems so surreal.

Friend's Birthday celebration on tuesday. Watched My Fair Lady on wednesday, had Mark visit me from fri evening to this (sun) afternoon.
Great week, really.
Now, back to studying the pelvis and reproductive system.
Sigh.

This is my 200th post already. Wow.
In my 200 posts I have covered topics as diverse as man's primal needs (food and sex - well incessant craving for sex) and intellectual wants, emotions, thoughts and all.
I guess if you've read through all 200 posts you'll have gained a pretty good insight into the workings of my mind. How I am like as a person; how emotionally (un-)stable I am.
Perhaps I've revealed too much. Perhaps I've said things I shouldn't have and might be used against me in the future.
But I firmly believe that we should let excreted words remain as they are - outside the body. (Yes I'm studying the pelvis now)
I also believe that all the views I've expressed truly reflect what I've felt at a particular point of time. No use denying what was true at a certain point of time.

You may have noticed a subtle change in my posts - a change in my thinking, perhaps you might feel. Maturing as person, you might infer I am. Or the converse.
Yeah I now post (mostly) about inconsequential things - my squirt®, culinary skills (or lack of) and experiences in the pool next door.
I'm sure you don't want to know about my thoughts on, say, efforts to conserve the habitat of the distant cousin of the opossum, would you?
(For the record, I couldn't care less.)
But then again, why would you want to know if my latest culinary experiment succeeded.
Hmm.
Which reminds me. Remember Sophie's World? The pulling of rabbits out of the hat?
Perhaps we should all do that once in a while. Reflect, and not get too caught up with our daily lives to blindly plough through our days without reaping anything from it.

Thought of the day? ;)

Physical exercise is always good. Went swimming at last, after taking furtive glances at the aquatic centre every day, two times a day. Its just outside my hall, lah.
Swimming was good - they actually have like 'slow', 'medium' and 'fast' lanes where u hafta swim in a specific direction. 2 lanes each, basically.
Yes I swam in the slow lane. 'cause erm. was swimming with a girl lah. who, according to her, couldnt swim well. oh well basically was swimming in front of her. and more often than not stopping in the middle of the pool (1.2m) because of someone who was swimming real slow.
And oh swimming here is good 'cause once u rest/laze in the water for a certain amount of time, you start to feel cold. Really cold. And you really hafta start moving again to warm yourself up.
So yeah.
Physical exercise is good.
Kickboxing lesson tomorrow.

Bought some 'lean mince beef' from sainsburys. Made pasta with bolognese sauce last night, so decided to try my hand at making a burger.
;)

Some songs just trigger something in your heart.
Iris by goo goo dolls. Collide by howie day. Don't look back in anger and wonderwall by oasis. You're beautiful by james blunt. Be like that by 3 doors down. Demons by fatboy slim featuring macy gray. Good riddance by green day. Unwell by matchbox 20.
So many more....
Feeling pensive again. ;)

Soup test passed ;)

Still on the topic of food. Decided to finish my 2 pieces of chicken fillet today. Well, actually sliced them and planned to eat like half of the slices today, half of them tomorrow for lunch.
Decided to marinade them using my chinchalok chilli sauce I brought over. Together with the chilli sauce with garlic mentioned earlier. And of course a little bit of the assorted condiments I keep in handy.
Oh put in a leeetle bit of ginger for taste. And almost a whole onion. Just for the heck of it. Nutrients and all.
Then stir-fried the chicken. This time I didn't add too much water ;)

After taking some for myself, I asked the rest of my flatmates to try my cooking (5 angmohs, all sitting around watching television) whilst I cooked a soup. (Yeah mushroom soup)
Guess what.
They had emptied the bowl by the time I finished cooking the soup and was about to resume eating the rest of the chicken.
One whole piece of chicken fillet, they just went like "its very nice!!!", "yuan you should stop studying med and become a cook" and the like, and finished my whole damn chicken fillet.
Wah lao. I know its nice lah - I had actually considered finishing all of it myself - but... I don't know whether to feel flattered, or upset, or both.
My chicken fillet... 1 pound ($3!) worth of chicken fillet... just gone like that....
:(

Lucky I didn't share my soup.

And speaking of soups. I just put some chicken, mushroom, lettuce, onions and some secret ingredients to the slow cooker. Getting two friends to come over for lunch tomorrow - one cooking pasta. I'm providing the soup.
So I've passed my grilled/stir-fried chicken test, now for the soup test. ;)

Having too many options available is not good.
But then again its been just 2 weeks. I've like 5 years ahead of me.
Ah well.

Tried stir-frying some turkey today. Yes they were meant to be stir-fried, said so on the packaging.
Marinaded it, added assorted sauces to it, then put it in the pot (I have no pan). Added some chilli sauce with garlic.
Added some water.
Added more chilli sauce with garlic.

I had turkey in spicy soup today. Which tasted quite nice, actually. Honestly.

Mushrooms with onions turned out just as I planned though.
I think I'll stick with cooking mushrooms. They're so much easier.

Was walking back to Ronson today when this girl distributing flyers approached me and said, "Hi, do you want a free lunch?"
Is it just me or did a saying just pop into your head as well? ;)

I love my room. Though its smaller than many others, messy and is still quite bare, I just LOVE it. ;)
Origins of the squirt soft toy? Oh I was walking with a group when two girls decided to enter this disney shop. Well to shop, of course. Saw this wonderfully cute squirt and I promised them that I'll share with them if they wanted to buy other soft toys. (3 for 20 quid lah)
And so they bought the soft toys.
Did I just say I LOVE the squirt? ;)
And oh. I got speakers (and a hidden subwoofer) for 35 quid. EXcellent sound system, I tell you. Enough BASS!!!! YEAH!!!!

Yes I'll say it again, I LOVE my room.

:D

OK if that sounded scary rite, I'm still the same me. Do still email me, call me, whenever, whereever. I'll still always be there for my friends :)

Just read some resources available on the intranet and understanding suddenly dawned on me.
I'm now in university. Studying medicine.
It's gonna be a whole new ball game.
I finally have to accomplish what I promised I'd do in 'school'.
It is time to realise my potential.

Few updates of my life:
1. Medicine course has finally started. Started on Monday, in fact, with registration and all. First 'group' lesson's gonna be later. (Using computer cluster now) Well actual lessons won't start until end of next week, supposedly. All the lectures/tutorials now are for the sole purpose of teaching us how to learn in a PBL-based setting. "To learn how to learn", in other (their) words. And my timetable's like 9-4 almost every day. Ahh!!!
2. Starting to miss a few certain people in my life. People, you know who you are. I don't want to name names 'cause erm... some of you don't know who you are. *wink*
3. My internet connection's prob gonna be on end of today. Barring a few technical glitches, like my laptop fingerprint reader not recognising my fingerprints. Like what happened this morning. So I'll prob see ya online sometime soon! ;) If you're online around 6am in the morning dat is heh.
4. I have a webcam. *hint*

See ya all soon.

I get what you mean, when you say its scary, thinking of committing to him(her) for the rest of your life.
I get what you mean, when you say its so hard, keeping your long-distance relationship going. Or trying to get it started.
I get what you mean, when you say you miss home - the food, the people - everything.
But I don't get your answer, when you say you cant do it, for everything's gonna be fine.
I'll do what you're doing, I'll stay by your side, 'cause I don't know anything else.
(Unfinished)

Trying to write some lyrics. Cheesy, yeah, but well its a first attempt. Suddenly feel in the mood for it. Not addressed to anyone in particular, but hey if you think it means something to you, its intended for you ;)

Mark : Call me dude. Anytime you want/need to talk. And I mean Anytime.

Getting to the phase where u miss home. Family and friends, rather.
Loneliness, in other words.
I've made like quite a few friends here, one i think can be for life. No I'm not interested in her, she's attached too, but hey, pam its like us, the brother-sister kinda feeling.
Its only now that I realise how much you rely on your friends when you're overseas? I mean, like, experiencing it all for yourself - its really eye-opening.
Sharing my flat with Brits - there's this guy who's doing postgrad civil engineering - nice guy. Some other guys just moved in today - haven't talked much to them yet. Should be good.
And hey I just came back from the pub. Some wine for dinner and a pint of beer. (Of course I'm not drunk yet.) Quite good music, this SCU-BAR near the accomodation.
I shall take pictures quite soon, haven't been getting around to doing that. Quite a nice place, actually, my room. Manchester is quite nice, in general, in fact :)
Yeah feeling quite pensive again ;)

Still have time to waste, so shall just summarise some oddities I've experienced here so far:
1. Keyboard layout. the @ is not located on the 2, but is on the ' key instead. Basically trades places with the ". Weird.
2. LOTS of places to have coffee here. Aside from Starbucks, there's Nero, which, as Mark recommended, has GREAT espresso. It's those kind of coffee that is acidic, And aromatic. Very nice. And there's like what, 3? 4? I encountered just walking into the city centre. And countless other small cafeterias too. And the prices are close to what they are in Singapore. An Americano's £1.69 (x3.1 for sing dollar) at starbucks, an espresso's £1.20 at Nero! It's like, well almost coffee heaven to me man!!!!
3. They sell Tiger beer here. And apparently it is quite well received.
4. Chinese food is damn ex here. There are like only 'proper' chinese restaurants here, and you can easily have 2 meals for what you pay for a meal at any chinese restaurant. Eg - Dad and I had claypot beef and something called a 'yi(4) pin(4) pou(1)' yesterday. Just these two and rice. Bill came up to £33.
Had lunch at this bar (2 of us) for a grand total of £8. He had wine, I had pepsi, we both had this chicken/beef wrap thingy.
5. Winter clothes here are actually cheap! At Primark's - this chain, something like Marks and Spencer's - you can buy a zipped sweater for £6. Cotton, I think.

Will post more as I discover more nuggets of interesting information I glean from here.

Long awaited update of my life now that I'm in Manchester!

Well what have I been doing here for the past 3 days? What am I gonna be doing in the next few days, weeks and years?

Spent the last 2 1/2 days 'touring' Manchester (city centre and university) with my dad. Got introduced to various interesting and not-so-interesting buildings. Old structures and ancient ones. Safe streets and those to be avoided after dark. Well most of them, basically. 'Cause apparently drunkards and poor homeless blacks rule the streets after the pubs close.
Oh and we WALKED a LOT these 2 1/2 days. Nope didn't rent a car - not much parking space here in the city area, come to think of it - and the hotel we booked was within walking distance (kinda) from the university.

OK the city. First impressions : Small, old, and well, small. The whole city centre is like... the CBD, actually. With very few tall buildings though. Most of them are like ancient structures - or modern buildings masquerading as ancient ones - and aren't more than a few stories high. And the university is really like SMU, location I mean. Of course. So its within walking distance of like, the equivalent of Orchard Road. Woohoo. One of these days if I feel depressed I'm gonna undergo quite a bit of retail therapy.

OK orientation's gonna start tomorrow - actually registration starts today, but there's nothing more than that - and I'll get sporadic Internet access if I really want to. There's this computer cluster where there's free computer use 23 hours a day. But is damn crowded, of course. So I'll login once in a while to blog, check email and do various weird stuff. No MSN though, these smart people have somehow disabled the program - even the web version!!!

Oh people here are generally nice, I think. Not much contact with Brits as of yet, as this orientation's only for international students. And the international students I've met seem quite blur too. Which is good of course.

Will blog again soon. Cheers.

I'm leaving in 5 days time.
Wow.

Been feeling quite down today. Think its due to pre-departure jitters.

Realise I need to get back to memorising huge chunks of stuff again.