Are you 'selective' when it comes to revealing yourself to a stranger, or even friend?
Do you subconsciously withdraw information of yourself when conversing with another person?
Do you consciously do so?

i mean, of course to a stranger, you wouldn't reveal much of yourself, but to your close friends? Why is that you can't say some things to your friends?

Why is it that you can deem someone not worthy enough to be a close friend? Why keep people at arm's length?

Have jus realised I can seem like a really nice person to most, but not many people actually know much about me.

erm. can everyone who reads my post leave a comment or tag in the tagboard? i'd like to know exactly how many people know of this blog's existence.... thanks!

oh still on the same theme, i believe singaporean men are jus as guilty as women for the increasing singlehood(?) rate right now.

singaporean men are jus too shy. and have been pampered by their mums jus too much. i'll admit.

but hey. looking at another perspective, singapore Is a country of immigrants isnt she.
singaporean men look for women from other countries; ditto for singaporean women.
population increases.
more multi-racial, or multi-national marriages.
isn't that good?
i mean, we've always taken pride in our tolerance of other cultures, adding more ingredients to rojak's been an evolutionary process since the original one came out hasn't it?

hmm. maybe i'll find my love somewhere else.

There was this letter to the straits times a few days ago. a girl was commenting on singaporean girls' "independence" and subsequent, well, "indepedence" as they watch singaporean girls pursue girls of other nationalities. Seemed quite truthful, and no it wasn't a defence of singaporean girls as you would inevitably think.

interesting, u know. the qualities guys look for in girls. i totally agree with her, when she mentioned that singaporean girls are "assertive" and "independent-minded" or something like that, and won't kowtow to the 'girly' qualities a girl should have. and since guys look for 'girly' qualities in girls, the simple equation of demand and supply shows that inevitably, the number of single women would increase, and the level of foreign talent in singapore increases. yes i mean women and no i dun mean it in any derogatory manner. its jus something meant to be humourous.

and yes i know i have independent-minded women reading my blog so i may hafta clarify and/or use less provocative words in the future.

:P

anyways. i believe i'm a rarity in dat i Like an independent woman who can take care of herself, choose what she wants to eat and can suggest ideas on what to do on a date or outing.

problem is, i havent met even one jus yet.

where are all the singaporean women she mentioned???

ok more serious thoughts for this blog.

was watching my goldfish jus now.*

they were like... swimming around. as usual, of course, as it wasn't bedtime for them yet. **
argh getting addicted to terry pratchett.
anyways. we have one black gold-fish (technically its called one, i think) and many other gold-coloured goldfish. in one tank. And another tank with similar contents.
dun ask me why though, the black-coloured goldfish (i'll call it Black for short) didn't seem too unhappy. now im no reader of emotions (of goldfish) but i'll say swimming around and with the other fish looks like what a happy fish would do. well, a normal thing to do, at least.

ok main point. why did Black feel so comfortable amongst the other fish? was he aware that he was different from the rest? and why did the other fish accept him/her (apparently) in their midst?

well i happen to have another tank containing a luohan fish. all the rage in the past year. brings luck and all that. and luohans are known for their... ferocity. and territorial instincts. bought two other... sucker fish? which jus suck on to the sides of the tank? yah. one day i awoke to find the dismembered bodies of one of them floating in the water. a few days later the same thing happened to the other.

the luohan seems to be quite happy on its own in the tank right now.

now u may think goldfish are much smaller than luohan, and their teeth are... wait they have no teeth. and thus are by nature more friendly.

but u know its not true. not all big animals cant live together. elephants dont kill llamas for fun (my luohan had an abundant supply of food every day) or jus because their territory is intruded upon. and it Does look like they Can swing, or kick, llamas around for fun rite?

funny thing is, my luohan killed the sucked fish at night, when no-one was around. it was almost like murder, u know? stab someone in the dark.

but anyways. u think if i had had an electric shocking device to administer little jolts every time it tried to touch the sucker fish, the luo han would have eventually left them alone?

ok gotta get to work on my application essay.

enough random thoughts for the day.

have a great one. :)



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*actually they're not really mine. my grandma's. and technically wasn't really watching them. was more like taking occasional glances at 'em. singapore idol was.... painful. :P
**actually i dun think they Ever have a specific bed-time as we leave the lights on top of the tanks, well, on, all the time. not my idea dun ask me why??

another new reader of my blog! hi tina!!!!!! :-D

haha dun worry not hitting on ya. i may be desperate but my mind's still working. long-distance relationships never work out.

and i dont know how to pursue a girl too anyways. (Another point: Army reduces your girl-chasing abilites to wolf-whistles and trying to look suave.) and i havent even mastered the art of wolf-whistling. or looking suave.

oh u know zhijing's reaction when i gave her the present i bought her from the US? she couldnt stop laughing. apparently i look too similiar to the flying fox soft toy.

oh wow.

how am i going to chase any girls with this kind of 'cute' face? u tell me. i mean, girls look for tall, handsome guys who look mysterious and all dat right?

i'm short, "cute" and.... i'll jus say i dun look mysterious, all right?

oh man. looks like my self-confidence's at an all-time low...

and oh. i'm shy. too shy for my own good. but yeah. sigh. :(

i'm writing again! at last!

oh well. update of my life.

Finally have 'distributed' all the gifts i've wanted to give away. oh wait. there's one more. oh well nevermind. Almost.

breakfast yesterday was... interesting. very interesting. yeah i'll be secretive about it and let u wonder wat its all about muhahaha *evil laugh*

but anyways. reminded myself dat i'm leaving next year. wherever i'm going, its away from here. not dat singapore isnt the place for me. its jus... i dunno. i really wanna know wat its like outside this tiny little speck on the map. maybe i wun come back? or maybe i will.

NS is jus NOT good for ur mental health i tell ya.

see, unrelated rite? no linkages from one paragraph to the next.

oh well.

oh. to continue. lets jus give a few points to illustrate y NS is SO detrimental to ur health yah?

1. Your brain rots. 'cause of inactivity. or lots of meaningless activity. and repetition. of stuff dat u normally jus wont bother to do.
2. It destroys ur hormonal balance. Its far worse than an all-male secondary school, because it ELEVATES ur levels of male hormones. 'cause of exercise and all that. so yah. u get desperate for girls, u despair for sex, and u eventually get desecrated when u unconsciously spill ur guts. (in front of a girl). no i havent experienced the last but i get this feeling i'll experience it real soon.
3. It damages ur body. now i'm speaking as a medic when i see countless cases of people getting injured in training. and for regulars, the long-term effects of training.
4. When u Do stop NS, u'll be faced with this... emptiness. 'cause it jus takes up all ur time (when ur in it) and although its full of meaningless, mindless activity, it still takes up ur time. thus when u Do get free u'll be stuck in some sort of dilemma. like so many ex-regulars who develop beer bellies (i'm serious) and ex-NSFs who jus while away their time, like a person i know. depression sets in.

ok so basically half of wat i've written is jus crap. believe wat u will. but this new keyboard is jus too nice to the touch. and this new com...

i'm getting addicted to The Sims 2.

ciao.