jus realised how music ties the world together.
was playing a fellow medic's guitar today when dhan, this indian fella, came into the room. handed the guitar to him, asked him to play some songs.
he played some indian-sounding tune. yes, on the classical guitar.
asked me to play, i played romance de amour (yes dat overplayed tune), right here waiting and seagull.
he asked me for the tune of romance, which i wrote down.
i tell u, i hate that guy, with the absolute trouble he's created for us, but after this little exchange, my feelings of hate have slightly diminshed.
this may sound frivolous but hey its true.

and did u realise the songs u remember, even after years of non-practice, are those dat have some significance to u?

i'm still right here waiting for someone, the song seagull reflects my nature and romance... its jus an overplayed song lah. u jus HAVE to know it if u claim to have learnt classical guitar. :P

Can't remember the title of the song but this suddenly popped into my head. Its by Bread. this ancient soft rock band.
lyrics start like these:
If a picture's worth a thousand words
Then I'd ... paint you
...

Cant really make out the rest of wat he's singing. but the whole song's so... poignant.

oh. this thought suddenly popped into my head.

there are like so many cases of guys feeling they're actually women trapped in men's bodies, and have sex-change operations, but are there guys who feel like they're lesbians trapped inside a man's body?

i mean, do lesbians feel like gay men? if a guy were to decide he's lesbian will it do any good for him to chnage his sex, and love a self-professed lesbian?

perhaps i'm having too much coffee. jus perhaps, huh?

Interview today sucked.
Big time.

I realised I'm getting too stressed up. Over trivial things.

But its my future damnit.

Decided to go into one of the dodgy lorongs of Geylang to take a look last night when I was driving home last night. Well I thought, hey I'm in a car, my locks are working, so it wouldn't hurt to take a look yah? Yes, I was slightly drunk. High lah, more like it. Wouldnt have got caught if I was stopped by the traffic police.
But anyways. It was Damn crowded. Lots of men. And women, of course. I'll describe the men first. Different nationalities seemed to gather at different... areas. Foreign... workers? In particular, gathered at this.. intersection. Together with women of... thai? nationalities. Trying to seduce them, probably.
Lots of chinese men stood around the lorongs. Ogling at the women. Some talking with them, probably haggling over prices? A lot of them were just looking at them, though. Seemed to be. Like predators deciding over their prey?
Not a very pretty sight.
Even when you are slightly drunk.
The women. They were not scantily clad, to my surprise. OK they had heavy make-up on, and you probably wouldn't see many of their... costumes in Orchard - many seemed to be in cheap dresses or something like that?
Oh I saw several shops selling clothes so I think they probably bought their costumes there.
Anyways. I saw like this Huge group coming out from somewhere as I was driving out. With a single man. Who looked like the sort you'd put in jail, if you were a policeman, just because he looked like he had the Potential to do something criminal, if he had not done anything illegal already.
Come to think of it there always seemed to be some of that sort around most girls.

Anyways. Was quite disgusted, yet fascinated by what I saw.
No I'm not about to take the plunge anytime soon, I think. Can't picture myself going up to a prostitute, much less doing it with her.
Come to think of it I Don't want to picture myself doing that.
I'm broke enough already. And I'd much like to tell my future wife, "Hey I'm a virgin too you know."

But come to think of it, isn't it every guy's fantasy to have sex with as many women as possible? And not to have to take any responsibilities.
Maybe that's why we have so few married people now. Maybe even the women want sex, but not the ramifications that come with it.
With our increasingly promiscous society, who wants marriage?
Sex is enough.

Something amazing happened to me today.
This morning, as I was walking towards the bus-stop from camp, after yet another dreary duty, a taxi-driver honked at me. Asked me where I wanted to go.
I said I had no cash.
He said "Nevermind! I'll charge you the bus-fare equivalent of where you want to go!"
I said, "But I Really have no cash at all!"
He said, "alright, I'll take you there for free! Where do you want to go?"
I wanted to go to CCK mrt. well, home, actually, but it cost more than 10 bucks and it wasn't correct, asking him to send me there for free.
He asked me to hop in, saying he'd drive me there for free.
Turns out he was listening to some recording of some christian leader's inspiring talk.
He told me he discovered God today. Said something about We are All Brothers. Called me Brother. And said something about God gave us a magnificent environment. Listed an example of sungei tengah, how humans dirty the place God give us.
Money and all other worldly possessions are not important, he reasoned. We can't carry them with us. People burn hell money, but aren't those "hell money" minted and created by just other human beings? Only when you believe in God, can you go to heaven. And related stuff.

Oh later when we were near Sunshine Place, we saw several people who wanted to board a taxi. He asked if he could let me off there, and I was like sure! Free ride for nothing, who would complain yah.

Come to think of it, I'd ask my grandchildren to save on hell money when I die. Donate the equivalent to charity organisations, it'd be better spent.