War

Everyone thinks they know what to say
Everyone thinks they know what to do
War is bad, war is terrible
War is the curse that brands us all
But they don't know what you feel
All your true emotions unspoken
Like a true soldier,
A true soldier.

What's the point of it all
You wonder
as you see your brothers die
Fighting the enemy,
You know they are thinking
But the same.
Oh you don't know it all,
Like a true soldier,
A true soldier.


Just felt like writing something that's been bothering me. Been sick with GE (gastroenteritis) last night and today and the stomach spasms have been terrible, hence am taking the time to do something enjoyable whilst I still can (while the medication lasts).

Chocoholism Pt 3.

Dear readers,

I am sorry to inform you that alas, I have succumbed to my temptations.
I ask humbly for forgiveness from those (Mei that's you) who would not get a taste of this delectable delight because of my weakness, my ill-discipline and my inability to keep my mouth shut appropriately.

I promise to buy you more genuine hand-made chocolates from this country.
And not to eat all of them.

Chocoholism Pt 2.

Chocolate.....

I need chocolate....

This post is dedicated to all the chocolate lovers out there - I am with you!

As the stars need the moon, so I need you -
With all the breath I take, so I think of you!

OK I am getting delirious.

Chocoholism

I just realised how much of a chocoholic I am now when I discovered, to my greatest horror, that I had run out of chocolates. That was like two minutes ago, when I started tearing (not crying) and sniffing uncontrollably, felt like I would really be able to rob a poor kid of his chocolate and send him to his mum to cry, and then rob him again of that precious stuff when his mum tries to placate him by buying more.
Yup.
And then I saw the chocolates I had bought for friends and relatives back home.
No I haven't succumbed to that temptation yet. But it looks more tempting by the minute - that stash of emergency medicine looks ever so sweet, ever so melt-in-your-mouth-chockful-of-goodness-whatever-cliche-you-can-think-of alluring!
Will keep you updated on my withdrawal symptoms as they come along, later.

Scars.

I realise my tattoo has now taken on another additional meaning - it now serves to remind me of a period in my life where I was quite a different person. Subtle changes, you might think - but indelible ones in my caffeine-charged conscious-craving over-loaded brain right now.
Coupled with that song Edwin sent me years ago (Scars - by Papa Roach)... my mind's gone into overdrive.
Yeah, some songs just take on that particular meaning you want them to; the simple act of sharing a song sometimes can mean so much, to those who believe in the value and power of music.

Our time.

I was just surfing through my music library when I came across the Forrest Gump soundtrack album hidden amidst my other songs. Now I didn't take note before that it actually contains quite a few 'iconic' songs from the 60s and 70s. So yup. Led me to recollect about the movie - what it was about, when I saw it, etc. Could only remember these 'snapshots' where my parents had rented the Laser Disc (yup it was that long ago) and were watching it intently, while I actually watched only scenes of it, having been pre-occupied by the computer (yep not that long ago) and being called downstairs to forcibly watch 'cause it was 'meaningful'.
Now the point is, thinking back, did it not contain so many scenes that my parents would have been familiar with? Apart from the running with the old Nike shoes of course (the epitome of their struggle through life; never stop running, life's a marathon, etc - which happens to be one of my father's favourite quotes, and which I happen to believe in as well), or the chocolate scene (yep that chocolate quote never fails to come to mind does it), but I mean more like the whole movie, the setting, the story, everything. I don't recall many other films specifically made for that target audience - do you?

Which led me to think, of course. What would go into a movie for our generation? More specifically - those born in the '80s? Going beyond the casual(or not?) mention of the various wars America fought for 'freedom' and 'democracy', what would be a common theme that would resonate with everyone our age?

What do you think?

Leaking Leaks.

So I've been following the news more frequently than I have for the past few months. The trial of 'Scooter' Libby has particularly interested me - it's got the classic elements of betrayal, suspense, shocking revelations and all that is required of a riveting court case you don't often get to see today. (Corporate trials, however shocking the accusations, always end up in legal mumble jumble, don't you think - but that's another story)

So anyways. I'd just encourage you to follow it, for it's probably gonna make several headlines in our time, and if the victors have (or don't have) their way - a Hollywood movie decades down the road.

Oh and personal comment - I think Pampers can make an interesting advert based on this, don't you?

Missing Home.

Perhaps it's the dreadful weather, perhaps it's the horrible exam I just had, or perhaps it's the guilt I feel for not having done enough work throughout the term.

Or perhaps you just don't need any reason to miss home.

Reminiscing.

Reminiscing about the old times, you often wonder why you've made the choices you could have avoided over the years - all those mistakes, all those painful temptations you've succumbed to, all those falls you could have recovered from; all the wonderful moments you've enjoyed, despite everything that should have brought you down.

It's all in the perspective you have, isn't it?

Remembering the Past.

So sometimes, you wonder why you've chosen this path you've taken.
You wonder why you've done all that you have, so far, with no concrete results to show but for the fat you've accumulated from eating far too many chocolate cookies.
You start to doubt yourself, your ability to get out of this hole you've been digging subconciously with your lack of attention to your work and everything else.

So what do you do?
You remind yourself of what it is you're doing all this for. You dive into blogs of friends, strangers, who seem to have a grip on themselves. You read your own posts, or your diary, for all that you've written, and believed in, not that long ago.
Or you just reflect. Refresh those neuronal connections you've made throughout your years of living. Think of your family and friends - how they would react when they see you in this state, and how lucky you are to be free from their clutches.
Go out with your current friends, if you're the sociable sort, or sit down in a nice cafe, and people-watch.
Drink some mocha, for the chocolate relaxes you and the coffee invigorates you.
And listen to your favourite music - whichever helps, and has helped you, before.

Or discard all that I've just written, for it's for me, and me alone, and do what works for you.

And do wear sunscreen.

Thanks Sam.

The Veggie Cafe

Just felt like gushing about this cafe in the University, really.

It's located just outside the John Rylands University Library, for those who are studying here but do not yet know of its existence. There's a billboard outside advertising its opening hours - but I wonder how enticing the words "Veggie Cafe" can be to anyone entering the library. Or perhaps it's aimed more at the people who come out of the library after several exhausting brain-busting hours at work.

So it's a quaint little cafe. Once you enter the building and descend down a flight of stairs you'll notice how it's so different here - the lighting and heating is good, the tables are spread out in neat rows, and your phone loses its reception remarkably. Oh did I mention the serenity of it all, with some radio music in the background and a general quiet buzz emanating from the place? It just feels like you've been transported back 20 years or something, when people still returned their plates when they finished with their meals (not that the staff wouldn't clear them), the people running the place are there monday-friday, and they talk in that oh-so-beautiful english accent (just right, not that thick Northern accent where you can't decipher anything other than "yes" and "now"), replete with smiles and all. You genuinely feel they are nice people who are just running the cafe for the fun of it, not the profit-driven sort who'd smile only as they're tightly grasping the notes you've barely taken out of your wallet.

And did I mention the food? Yup I am a self-confessed carnivore who likes his meat fresh and bloody, but somehow, I can't help but enjoy the veggie soups they dish up, day after day (well at least the days I'm there). Carrot & coriander; peas and mint; lentil and some other bean; mushrooms; tomato and something that I can't discern but just tastes nice... It's just good natural food, I have to admit. I mean, this is probably one of the rare few places where I don't mind subjecting myself to the torture of not having meat for an entire meal.

And the prices are quite reasonable. A soup + bread and coffee costs just 3 pounds - compared to a subway meal of 4.80 or that spicy wings and coke. Oh and of course do compare it to the not-quite-curry at the refractory just a few steps away, that costs 30p more but tastes infinitely worse, and you get my drift.

So yep. Do pop by one day. But oh be warned. I brought two freshers there one lunchtime and one of them was like, "no meat! so ex somemore!" and seemed quite perturbed by what he was eating (an egg mayo baguette, which admittedly didn't look that nice). So yeah. Go into it with an open mind (you have been warned, it is a veggie cafe and makes no pretense about it) and you just might be rewarded.

Damn.

In one of those moods again. Where you feel nothing is going right in the world, where you start to doubt the decisions you have made thus far, where you just feel generally like the tomato that's been in your malfunctioning fridge for three weeks?

When even a 3/4 tub of ben & jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream doesn't help. When listening to happy songs like the yeah yeah yeah song doesn't soothe your wandering mind. When chatting to the people you hold dear to your heart doesn't dull the aching pain in your pre-frontal cortex.

I guess it is times like these that I look at my alcohol collection on my shelf and the absolut looks so, so enticing.

And of course am reminded of the time I tried Absolut Citron thinking it would taste remotely like lemon, and discovered to the horror of my cranial nerves that it tasted exactly like its cousin in the science lab in secondary school.

So no I'm not about to drink to drown my sorrows. Probably going to sleep now, and hopefully it'll be a good day.

Good day to you my friends.

So it is back online.

I am sorry, guys, but I will be a complete b****** here and tell you that after this long wait, I've decided not to change my blog layout. Have done only some minor HTML clean-up.
Why, you ask. Because I don't really care about how you feel about it.
Because this is, after all, my blog, and I decide what goes on it. A blog, after all, is my take on subjects, about my life, and about what I want to put on it, really.
If you do not like my tainted views, do not want to know about mundane details in my life - like how I ate 3/4 a tub of ben&jerry's chocolate fudge ice-cream just now - and do not agree with anything I say, f*** off.
As you can see I'm not in a particularly nice mood when I normally blog.
One last warning, f*** off before it is too late. Before your mind gets subverted by my psuedo-intelligent completely-baseless politically-uncorrect barely-veiled f***-all take on life.

Oh gosh I love this new start.

Welcome.

I know I promised you a new layout for the next school year, and in fact I am looking at HTML coding again, but I just felt I had to let this out.
I really, really cannot dance to R&B.
I was at Club Momo last night, this event called UK Bound. Basically there were like invited student (and semi-professional I think) bands playing 'rock' music until 10, then 'normal' music started to play on in the club while in this separate section some bands continued to play.
Once the music came on, I was like oh no. Not R&B music.
Well I endured for a while.
After deciding I couldn't take it anymore I ventured into the 'live' section. Bad mistake. There was this band where
1. Lead singer struggled under the huge weight of a simple tune
2. Guitar amps weren't configured correctly and
3. Guitarists couldn't play.
Yes not very pleasing to the ears.
So I was stuck with either
1. Terrible R&B music which you know my innate dislike for, or
2. Terrible electrical noises emitted by what were proper instruments, and a tone-deaf whiner.
I managed to stagger out of the club, ears smarting from the pain of it all, and managed to get some fresh air before I went back into the sonic-assault room.
And to think I had downed half a glass of vodka orange, some parts of a shot of vodka (don't ask, was forced to drink) and some beer.
Oh the night ended alright though, a different, more professional band had come on in the 'live' section when I revisited it. Had to go after awhile though.
SO this is a formal warning here. I will NOT dance to R&B music, and if you ever attempt to trick me into such a club you are liable to pay for damages to my ears, my brain and I will not be responsible to any physical or mental damage dealt to you in frustration.
I am being absolutely serious here.

I realise I haven't had a decent post for ages, so here's another half-baked one while I revamp my blog. (yup i'll be changing layout and all in the next few weeks - I promise! - before the next academic year starts)
I am currently back in Singapore, have been for a month (almost) now since I came back from Australia.
Yes I was in Australia for a month before that. Visited several interesting places like Sydney, Gold Coast, Tasmania and Melbourne. Yep in that order. Kinda. Sydney was like my base.
Yep so pretty much travelling I've done this past academic year, probably time for some preparation for the next one.
Nothing much has changed, I'd like to think - other than a few additional CDs in my collection, a few more pictures (Pamela, I promise I'll send the pictures to you before end Sept ;p) and much less cash in my bank.
And I'm currently back to rock (think Muse) rather than dance (cue Faithless). Well, mostly.

So please do continue visiting, I know who you are (I do have a stat-tracker ;p) and I do really appreciate you caring about my boring life, random rants and twisted thoughts, and I sincerely hope I have managed to subvert a few minds, subtly influenced a few (chocolate is good for you) and fuelled a few hundred connections in the neural connections of your brain as you've finished this piece of writing.

I am back.

Dear friends,
My laptop's screen isn't working. So I won't be able to blog, or chat, or play games for the next few days.
I think its retribution for using the com so much these few days.
Oh well.

Did you know that long beans make good snacks?
I bought a pack of trimmed long beans (on offer) at Sainsbury's a few days back, and decided to finish it just now. Basically boiled them in water. And just munched on them.
They're really quite nice leh. The crunchiness, flavour and all.
And they're full of vitamins, and provide 1 of your 5 daily servings of fruits and/or vegetables, if you eat enough of 'em.
So yeah, next time you feel like snacking, do keep a look out for long beans. A healthier alternative to that chocolate bar at the side of your computer right now. Which you're looking longingly at.

Of course, when you've finished all the chocs in your room, you have to source for alternative stress-busting foods, don't you?

I realise, for the first time in my life, I'm actually getting stressed for an academic exam. I mean seriously, this is like the first time I actually feel unprepared for one.
I have failed so many exams before, but yet, before each, I'd feel so full of confidence - pseudo-confidence, perhaps, but confidence nonetheless- yet this feeling I have right now...
I'm actually panicking.

Just felt like I should jot this down so I can remember, start of next academic year, or the semester after the next, to start studying right from the beginning.

Gosh. This feeling is scary.

Perhaps many of you have heard of the game Defence Of The Ancients (DOTA). Well it's not really a game in itself - it's modified from a map of Warcraft III. Now basically in the game, there can be up to 10 players (human or computer), 5 on each team, where you're supposed to annihilate the 'base' of the opposing team. You make use of 'heroes', which have various 'abilites' and 'spells' which you can 'cast', to, well, inflict damage on the opponent. You get money from killing 'creeps', or creatures, heroes of the opposing team, as well as from destroying structures the opposing team owns, which you use to buy items to improve your abilities.
So. Quite a few of you know that it's quite a craze amongst Singaporean students here in Manchester. There are like quite a few crazed addicts who play it every day, and even like on the eve of their exams. Me included - well, hopefully I won't play it tomorrow night.
I understand there are a few female readers of this humble blog, who may not understand why us guys (yup most of us crazed addicts are guys, though I do know of a girl who's equally fanatic about it) are so mad about it. I shall attempt to summarise, here, several reasons this is so.

1. It's a guy thing. As in, the testosterone-laden satisfaction of 'killing' somebody you know, being able to brag 'Hey I killed xxx number of heroes just now', and be respected (sorta) for it - its just like any blood-filled PC/video game out on the market this way, except that blood isn't graphically displayed here.
2. It's a team game. Basically puts you in teams where you have to work with your friends (whether you like them or not) and co-operate to achieve certain noble objectives. I'm sure a particular reason why some people like playing against computer opponents (when there aren't any human players, of course) is because it sort of shows some solidarity between the group of you playing in a team. Kinda like reminds me of army. In a weird way.
3. It's a good waste of time. I mean, it is (quite) mindless fun, and we all need to take a break from our studies/work and relax sometimes, right? And playing with others... its not as bad (and it won't make you feel as guilty) as playing some windows-based card game alone right?
4. It's a good use of the high-speed LAN connection that we have here at the University. I mean, since we're paying for it, why not utilise it right? Guess you can say it's a singaporean thing in this sense.

Hope that's a concise summary of the reasons why we play DOTA. If you do feel there are more that I've neglected to mention, please do add your comments. I'd greatly appreciate it.
;)