Hello everyone! I'm back from my trip.
Just to update you : I actually took the Eurostar to Belgium to meet Deb on the 8th, went to Cologne in Germany on the 9th and 10th, back to Belgium, then on to Barcelona from the 12th to 20th. Back to belgium on the 20th, when I came back on the same day.
Anyways.
Will write more on my experiences when I feel like it ;)
Oh but to summarise, Brussels, Leuven and Genk were just so picturesque (to borrow deb's words ;)); Cologne was a shopping heaven (should have bought more stuff there!!) and Barcelona was so much like Singapore I felt like I was home! Nice weather and all... Sigh beginning to miss home more already.
Shall blog more later ;)

So I'm in one of those moods again.
Where emotions overcome, passion overflows and I'm at a loss of words.
Do you ever get one of these moods?
Where your feelings overwhelm you. You feel like saying, Thanks, and have a good day, to all that you're close to.
Perhaps its because I'm high on chocolates.
Or maybe its because after marvelling at them, savouring every one of them, and thinking of the time my friends have spent selecting them - I'm sure their choices weren't random - I just feel so thankful I have so many friends over here.
Sure we all have different personalities; we may not yet be bosom friends who know exactly what each other are thinking - but in the end, does it matter?
Is it not the genuine friendship we share that matters? That which is not tainted by societal pressures, hidden motives and sinister sniping behind artificial smiles?

And I've not forgotten about you, friends in singapore. I believe distance is relative - I may be 13 hours, or a few seconds away with a simple phonecall.
We may both be busy with our lives, but believe me when I say that you're an integral part of my life no matter where you are. My brother may have lost my phone (and with it all your contact numbers) but be assured I'll make every effort to contact every one of you when I'm back.
Ed that includes you; ayline eh I'll type an email to u soon hehe.

Mark: Sorry I can't attend your graduation (wanted to be back in time for my mum's birthday) but you'll know I'll be there in spirit. Plus US is just a few hours away, christmas perhaps? ;)

Pamela: I'll see you in june/july, we'll catch up more then ;) Not that we'll stop chatting in the meantime lah ;p

LM: There are too many people reading this blog, so I'll spare the goosebumps for everyone else and just say this. I love you.

Mei: You know I may not say this, but it is especially in these past few months that I realise how much I love and miss everyone. Help me convey this to Ma and Pa somehow yah ;p

Yup one of those moods again.

And now that I've the time to blog, I have to say, I'm really relieved this whole paper-writing thing is done.
4123 words leh.
So damn long... so many papers to read... couldn't go out, felt stressed and all last weekend.
Strangely though, now I feel so empty. Tired, perhaps, from the 3-4 hours of sleep I managed to get this morning and the sleep deficit I've accumulated throughout the week; feeling abit down, maybe, as the caffeine and chocolate high I had from this morning's gone and coke's not absorbed yet.
Hmm.

I realise that I may be addicted to the thrill of completing things at the last minute. Completed my paper today at 3:15pm, went to stopford building to print it and reached at 3:30pm. Went into Microlab 3, this computer lab near the entrance. Discovered I couldn't print.
Thought OK, there's still another lab. Went to above-mentioned lab (microlab 4). Yay. After some minor alterations to my document (am using openoffice) printed a copy.
Tried to print another as we need to submit two. Couldn't.
Discovered my credit was negative. Checked time: 415pm.
Ran up to common room where there's a stall selling drinks and stuff, bought a coke, ran down to top up printing credit. (The machine's in microlab 3.)
Ran back to Microlab 4, managed to print out another copy.
Time check: 430pm.
Went to bind my stuff - long queue. Decided I might as well drink my coke, since I'd bought it.
Went up to submit after it was done : 450pm.
Deadline for submission was 5pm.

For some reason i couldn't help smiling throughout the whole process.

Oh no.

Thanks everyone. :D

Quotes of the day!
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. - Wolfgang Pauli (1900 - 1958), on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague
Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything. - John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - )
[Poetry] is the lava of the imagination whose eruption prevents an earthquake. - Lord Byron (1788 - 1824)
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel
I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. - Herbert Rappaport
A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost. - Ferdinand Foch (1851 - 1929)

Get them from Quotationspage

Yeah that was lame I know.
But seriously. Did I blog something about jokes before? In case you haven't read that, I once borrowed this book from the library, written by this jewish author, on jokes. Analysing the reasons why jokes are funny, why we find certain jokes funny but not anothers, and the like.
Gave some concrete examples of Jewish jokes which I didn't find any funny at all. Well I guess which proved his point.
But thing is, I didn't get Any of his jokes in the book. It was written quite some decades ago, but do jokes really change so fast?
I mean, I have quite an old-school sense of humour I believe (my toot-ness) so eh. Does dissecting a joke really remove the humour from it? (yeah med and/or health science students might get this one)
Oh well.

You know, its quite weird how the Brits are known for their dry humour. I mean, with the constantly overcast weather and incessant drizzle, you would expect a lot more moisture in their humour wouldn't you?
And yet the Americans are the ones who excel at telling dirty jokes.
I really wonder why.

I believe I'm currently on a high from eating a rich icing-coated carrot-and-walnut-cake with lots of sugar innit, and reading silly lame jokes.
I believe the world is round, the sky is blue, and I am hallucinating.
I can bet this cake contains quite a bit of alcohol.

Now that I've sufficiently recovered from my illness (I feel) and nasty experience at the GP, I can objectively write about what I've been through the past few days.
Can't remember when my illness started. Must have been quite long, as some of you remember. Started off with sore throat, occasional stomach upsets, nausea and lethargy, generally. And some episodes of fever.
On Sunday night it reached 38 degrees. I was like, OK, need to see a doc. Called to say I needed an urgent appointment, was told by the nurse I would have to go at 12:45 and still have to wait. (It was 830am.)
Thought hey, at least I've an appointment for the day itself, not like the previous time where they said I'd hafta wait 2 weeks. Yeah seriously. So reached there around 12:15pm.
Got a queue number, waited.. hey I actually got called in at 12:50pm! Thought to myself, not bad.
Well guess what. Objectively speaking, the GP was the worst doctor I've seen in my life.
EVERYTHING we've been taught not to do, she did; EVERYTHING we were instructed to do, she didn't.
Let me describe.
Look of disdain - irritation, even? - "So what's wrong with you?"
"I've got a sore throat for the past few weeks, some episodes of stomach upset, and fever, etc..." Tried to explain.
Got cut off in less than a minute.
By this curt nod. And her rising off her perch.
Walked over, without a smile (and slight look of irritation?? on her face) and felt for the lymph nodes in my neck. Painfully. "You feel pain there?"
"Aaaah! Yes..."
Curt nod again. Shone torch in both pupils. Rotated my head around (?? Someone tell me why??)
And then wrote down a prescription. Said to me, "Take these, 21, and you will be fine."
Antibiotics. No mention of completing the course, taking how many times a day, etc.
Yes just antibiotics. Nothing for fever and sore throat. Well nothing for analgesia/pain relief lah.
End of appointment.

I was like. WTF man.
Its been 3 days and I'm still smarting over it. You know I actually think it might be the first case of discrimination I've encountered? She was an Indian female in her 50s or 60s, and I heard laughter when the previous patient was in the room. An Indian, obviously.
Yes you know me, I usually am Completely colour-blind and completely imperceptive when it comes to such stuff.
I was that affected.

But.
Logically thinking, it can't be discrimination, since racism is well and truly wiped out in this free country.
So it all boils down to medical professionalism, and doctor-patient communication.
One of the core reasons why doctor-patient communication is so much emphasised in our curriculum.

Oh by the way I'm sufficiently recovered, fever's more or less gone and throat's feeling much better. Can swallow solid food now ;)

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
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Its snowing!!! YAY!!!! :D
Ventured out into the snow to do my laundry today. Thought I'd wear a little more, with jeans replacing my shorts. Slippers still on.
I'm glad I returned in one piece, with my toes still intact.
But it was fun hehe!
:D

Just felt like watching a movie this whole week. Escape from reality for that few minutes, really.
Finally got the chance to, just now. Watched The Weather Man.
Go watch it.
For some reason I just felt like saying, Love you, Mum. And Dad. And my whole family.
In fact, to everyone I know. I love you all.
Its never too late to say "I love you" to anyone you love, really.

Words of interest for today:
Jobernowl - Blockhead
Logodaedalus - Someone skilled in the manipulative use of words
Incompossible - Incapable of co-existing
Supernaculum - To the last drop

;)

Its strange how things turn out in the end.
I got rejected in my application for Lemington, the house (hall accommodation) I was to share with the girls (and guy).
This might seem hypocritical, but seriously, if my application had gone through successfully, I wouldn't have known how to decide. I took such a long time to submit the form, precisely because I thought I'd made up my mind, but then this alternative popped up.
Basically I'm sharing a flat with 2 other medics, nice place, carpark spaces, ensuite toilet, and its ground floor with a porch that opens up into the carpark so bbq is possible ;)
Oh kitchen, dryer, washing machine, fridge and freezer provided, utility bill is capped for the year.
But yeah. If I had gotten Lemington, I would really have been torn - would i honour a promise I'd made, or go for a decidedly better option?
Hmm. What do you think, my friends.

I have to confess, I am not an altrustic person. I do not want to know every detail of your life, I do not want to be the person that your pour your heart out to.
I get the impression you want my empathy, you want me to care, you want me to be a pillar of support behind that fragile wall.
Don't you understand I can't? I'm not as nice a person I seem to be. I dictate how my heart works, and I have to cage it, sometimes. I just don't have the capacity to care for you if I don't feel I can count on you.
Yes I am a mercurial person, didn't you know that?
Yes I do have a barometer when it comes to making soulmates - if you don't fit my criteria, if you don't know what you want in life, if I don't agree with your goals in life, I'm sorry but I can't trust you with the depths of my heart.
Murky as they are.

Just feel like letting this out, really. Aforementioned person doesn't know of the existence of this blog, I hope.
Come to think of it, I don't care if he/she knows. I'm really tired of distancing myself when I haven't had the need to do so ever before.

Feeling sorry, isolated and alone
Out in this wilderness of a winter wonderland
I search for my sweet cherry
Buried beneath layers of filth.
I'm not an innocent boy after all,
Much as I try to make it true.

It snowed today. I missed most of it.

There are some days which are just wretched, aren't there? Where despite doing everything that's cheered you up in the past, you just can't seem to right any wrong? When even the fresh unsullied snow mocks you instead of lightening that oppresive load on your mind?

Sigh. Another one of those days.

I have this thing about watches.
I remember in the past, when I was in primary and even secondary school (started from p4 I think) I used to change watches once a year. Yah quite a waste of money come to think of it. But my excuse then to my mum would always be, the battery's running out! (And indeed they Do run out after one year, or thereabouts) And she would bring me shopping for watches. One of the rare things I liked to shop for. Yes I hated shopping.
Oh she would always bring me to this small shop in Thomson Plaza, which sold, and still sells I think, Casio watches. Authorised dealer leh. So yah, I would just go there, happily choose a watch, be told it doesnt look nice on me, insist on it, and get it. I guess I sorta knew the price range my mum was looking at too, and 'upgraded' my watches like slowly, as I grew up.
Oh approaching JC I had this stainless steel watch which I kept for two years. Loved it, but it got lost in the army. Sigh.
Bought my first watch, using my own money, in the army. Cost me a bomb then, like, 3/4 of my allowance.
Promised myself then that I'll wear it for as long as I can - and I still am wearing it. In fact, I don't think I'll ever change it - I have another one for more formal events [yup thanks for the watch guys ;) ] and that might change as I conform to societal pressures - but this one will always be with me. Heck I'll keep it in a glass box or something if its beyond reasonable repair.
Yup I just like the versatility of it - the stainless steel and 'hands' giving it some form of sensibility; the alternating rubber pieces showing my individualistic side (conforming, yet rebelling, at the same time); the electronic functions, and the digital time shown, lurking beneath its sensible exterior; the horribly loud colours of the backlight (purple and green) providing conversational topics (I like it despite its flaws)...
I just love my watch.

No this is not some random rant or egoistic display of pretentious pride, btw, though I do love my watch.

What you need to do is to look into his or her eyes, listen to what he/she is saying, and make him/her believe he/she is the only one in the world worth listening to - the focal point of the universe - in that whole conversation. Suspend all personal beliefs temporarily; take note of every detail he/she is saying; show that you are taking note.
Then if you want to disagree, don't take a stand. Let him/her take it. Ask him/her questions that prove the validity of his/her statement. Ask nicely. Show that you are really interested in the statement - believe it is true - but just want to clarify some simple doubts about certain minute details.
Applying this to a large group - speak to each and every member of the audience. Converse with them, with your eyes. Don't look through them as if they are ants in a horde, waiting to bite at every wrong word you utter - look at them. You are on their side.
And wear a suit.

Yup too much coffee again. Just thinking aloud, in general. And yeah I admit I do do the above, sometimes when I talk to you, my dear friends. And I know this might sound quite artificial now, but that is because I really want to get to know you better, no ulterior motives like getting a raise or something for me. There is a reason why I've taken my blog add off my friendster profile - I've let you, yup you selected few, know of the existence of this blog because I want you to know me.
I'm not really a good person either - I assume a different exterior, one that perhaps people just want to know - but I know I don't have any regrets in what good friends I've made over the years, and whom I've let slip my innermost feelings and thoughts.

Don't know why, but I recall this moment when Shumei and I were having this conversation in this quaint little cafe (Big Hands) near university. There were people around, so I started using words like "copulation" and "declarations of love" hoping nobody'd notice such archaic language.
Hoping lah.
But yeah. She said something in response I'd remember for life - "What declarations of love lah, copulation lah... Yuan.. why you so toot one?"
But I am, what. Don't see why I should change this side of myself.
;)