Revealing My Dark Side.

LM was asking me the other day, why I appear so reserved even with other friends whom I've known for years.

I realise I don't know, really. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I know I can become the centre of attention in a group, and I really don't feel too comfortable with it. I mean, I do realise I was born in a privileged family, and this may confer some unfair advantages over some friends, and it just doesn't seem right to take advantage of this.

Or maybe it's just as what I've written in my friendster profile - I react (subconsciously, sometimes) to the people I'm with, and unless I'm with people I'm really close with, this self-erected barrier just automatically goes up. And even with people I'm close to, I am subconsciously aware of their likes, dislikes, characteristics, and the like. No I'm not trying to sound like I have some superpower of picking up emotive signs or anything, to me, it just seems proper, and what many people do. Doesn't everyone?

And maybe it's also because of my pride, I don't go around imitating Justin Timberlake to anybody other than LM and my sister (though she hasn't exactly heard me do a JT yet). I mean, it's not going to do wonders for my reputation is it, sonically and taste-wise.

And there are some things you just can't say out loud, I guess. Like many things I write in this blog, if I were to read them out, I would cringe in embarrassment at the convoluted crap I can come out with at times. Blogging, like writing a diary, seems detached enough to air my smelly linen, I guess.

So these are the reasons why I don't talk much. What's yours?