Feelings.

It's such an odd feeling, knowing why you feel a certain way, what others would say to comfort you, and knowing you'd still feel the same despite all their good intentions.
I feel like I haven't put in enough effort this past year, am wondering if I am really suited for this course, and other assorted depressing thoughts. And I also know I feel this way whenever I am faced with obstacles in my way, that I have to get past this psychological barrier of feeling down and out, and pick myself up from this mess I've got myself into.
I also know I may forget about all this when I receive the results end of this week (for my osce resit), or plunge into greater depths of depression - if my suspicions are indeed confirmed.
No I am not depressed, clinically, just yet.
(Incidentally from what I've studied about depression you have to fulfil quite a few criteria before you're judged depressed, and then you're given mind-altering drugs to help in your rehabilitation. In my opinion chocolates work just as well, with fewer side effects. With moderate exercise, of course.)
So yeah. We'll see what happens yah. I just wanted to write this down so I wouldn't forget. No don't tell me I'm judging myself too harshly, that I have (too) high expectations of myself, by the way. I do not want to be playing with lives if and when I graduate.