decided to take a break from describing my trip.
anyways.
felt the need to get a girlfriend again. tired of elaborating. but yeah.
damn sad.
sigh.
oh i met a pri school friend of mine today. she's going to japan for some study exchange program for a year. and i prob wont be here by the time she gets back.
double sigh.
u know i've been wondering lately? how life overseas would be like. i mean, i spent 2 weeks alone out there and it was fun, but for 4 years? i dun know.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Alright I've finally found the xin qin to write again.
Gonna write about my trip.
Well, as you know, I went to the US to 'look at' some universities, as well as to the interview conducted at Duke.
I tell ya, Duke is a nice place. Somehow, dun ask me why, once I stepped inside, this. familiar feeling sorta overcame me. i jus felt, Chinese High!
I'm serious. It's like... I dunno, Duke feels just like Chinese High. ok its a Lot bigger and is co-ed, but Still. Same feeling. Dunno y.
Anyways. About the trip proper. Shall give a brief day-by-day description of my trip.
16th Aug : Reached Durham at around 930pm. damn tired. slept.
17th Aug : Decided to try out the public transportation system. woke up at 8, had a free breakfast (which sucked, only redeeming thing was the coffee) and walked to the bus-stop outside. it didnt have any label so i assumed it wasn't functional. met two indians (couple? or couple-to-be?), one of them gave me directions to a bus-stop near his work-place. Long walk. told me not having a car sucked. big time. after walking 20 mins to the bus-stop, and waiting 20 more for the only bus that served the route, I decided it Really did.
Bus ride took almost an hour. Reached Durham downtown terminal when I had wanted to go to Chapel Hill. oh the two of them are different 'cities', by the way. distance between them is like woodlands and jurong, if i'm living downtown. magnified a few times, of course.
anyways. since i landed up in the right place at the wrong time (had planned to visit Durham only later) I decided to go aexploring. Got the bus driver to take me to the Visitors Centre. Very helpful stuff gave me lots of directions and maps. But. I still got lost for quite a bit before getting back to the terminal. they have jus too many intersections and street names i tell ya. too many.
had lunch at this little shop. first taste of a big american buger. i tell u, the patty was like a half-pounder at macs if ever they decide to have one. (oh i have a double quarter-pounder at macs there. didnt try though) And their fries. Damn big too.
after that huge meal, decided to head back to the hotel. to Really sort out how to get to Chapel Hill, where I had scheduled a campus tour the next day. took the same bus back, and found that it stopped at this Huge shopping mall. huge in the fact that it covered quite a large area. perhaps that of taka, wisma, orchard station, far east, tangs, borders and lido together. with the road in between. but didnt seem so big on the inside, as there were only Two stories. waste of space, if u ask me. but then again there's So much space to waste.
nothing much came out of my detailed scouring of the maps leading to Chapel Hill. decided to take a taxi there.
18th Aug : Taxi reached Chapel Hill in half an hour. was two hours early for the tour so registered, took a map and went looking around on my own. had breakfast at this pancake shop, and picked up yet more maps at a visitors centre. tour of chapel hill was quite alright, in fact, it looked quite alright. several old buildings, and very approacheable people. lecture rooms were Very impressive (3 overhead projectors!) and the campus was wireless. woohoo.
After the tour, had this information session. was directed to the bio building finally, but couldnt meet the professor as he seemed Damn busy. got his email. and Finally knew how to get back to the hotel from Chapel Hill. had to walk quite a long distance though. like from serene centre to chinese high. and oh met the indian couple(-to-be) again. they directed me back to the hotel, interestingly.
19th Aug: Visited Duke. went for the campus tour. and managed to see the professor after getting lost and entering a graduate students' lab building. not to mention cutting across the Duke hospital. anyways. he seemed genuinely impressed and a tad amused (yes, amused, i wonder why) to see me and gave me his old textbook. jus changed to a new version so he didnt have any use for it, he said. and oh there was this taiwanese graduate student who was listening to our conversation instead of being at the matriculation ceremony.
oh i finally found the bus that served the bus-stop jus outside my hotel. apparently bus-stop = Some bus stops there.
20th Aug : Interview. didn't seem like an interview at all. i mean, it was more like an informal interview. she asked me some questions, i answered, she seemed quite impressed, I asked some questions, she answered, end of interview. can't really remember the contents of the interview, to be honest.
and one thing, i'm beginning to think its standard to appear impressed there. u dun really know wat they Really feel underneath. its like... they're quite fake. to put it simply. and they look jus like me when im pretending to be interested in some obscure topic when all im doing is concentrating on looking interested.
scary.
tired now, will continue later.
Gonna write about my trip.
Well, as you know, I went to the US to 'look at' some universities, as well as to the interview conducted at Duke.
I tell ya, Duke is a nice place. Somehow, dun ask me why, once I stepped inside, this. familiar feeling sorta overcame me. i jus felt, Chinese High!
I'm serious. It's like... I dunno, Duke feels just like Chinese High. ok its a Lot bigger and is co-ed, but Still. Same feeling. Dunno y.
Anyways. About the trip proper. Shall give a brief day-by-day description of my trip.
16th Aug : Reached Durham at around 930pm. damn tired. slept.
17th Aug : Decided to try out the public transportation system. woke up at 8, had a free breakfast (which sucked, only redeeming thing was the coffee) and walked to the bus-stop outside. it didnt have any label so i assumed it wasn't functional. met two indians (couple? or couple-to-be?), one of them gave me directions to a bus-stop near his work-place. Long walk. told me not having a car sucked. big time. after walking 20 mins to the bus-stop, and waiting 20 more for the only bus that served the route, I decided it Really did.
Bus ride took almost an hour. Reached Durham downtown terminal when I had wanted to go to Chapel Hill. oh the two of them are different 'cities', by the way. distance between them is like woodlands and jurong, if i'm living downtown. magnified a few times, of course.
anyways. since i landed up in the right place at the wrong time (had planned to visit Durham only later) I decided to go aexploring. Got the bus driver to take me to the Visitors Centre. Very helpful stuff gave me lots of directions and maps. But. I still got lost for quite a bit before getting back to the terminal. they have jus too many intersections and street names i tell ya. too many.
had lunch at this little shop. first taste of a big american buger. i tell u, the patty was like a half-pounder at macs if ever they decide to have one. (oh i have a double quarter-pounder at macs there. didnt try though) And their fries. Damn big too.
after that huge meal, decided to head back to the hotel. to Really sort out how to get to Chapel Hill, where I had scheduled a campus tour the next day. took the same bus back, and found that it stopped at this Huge shopping mall. huge in the fact that it covered quite a large area. perhaps that of taka, wisma, orchard station, far east, tangs, borders and lido together. with the road in between. but didnt seem so big on the inside, as there were only Two stories. waste of space, if u ask me. but then again there's So much space to waste.
nothing much came out of my detailed scouring of the maps leading to Chapel Hill. decided to take a taxi there.
18th Aug : Taxi reached Chapel Hill in half an hour. was two hours early for the tour so registered, took a map and went looking around on my own. had breakfast at this pancake shop, and picked up yet more maps at a visitors centre. tour of chapel hill was quite alright, in fact, it looked quite alright. several old buildings, and very approacheable people. lecture rooms were Very impressive (3 overhead projectors!) and the campus was wireless. woohoo.
After the tour, had this information session. was directed to the bio building finally, but couldnt meet the professor as he seemed Damn busy. got his email. and Finally knew how to get back to the hotel from Chapel Hill. had to walk quite a long distance though. like from serene centre to chinese high. and oh met the indian couple(-to-be) again. they directed me back to the hotel, interestingly.
19th Aug: Visited Duke. went for the campus tour. and managed to see the professor after getting lost and entering a graduate students' lab building. not to mention cutting across the Duke hospital. anyways. he seemed genuinely impressed and a tad amused (yes, amused, i wonder why) to see me and gave me his old textbook. jus changed to a new version so he didnt have any use for it, he said. and oh there was this taiwanese graduate student who was listening to our conversation instead of being at the matriculation ceremony.
oh i finally found the bus that served the bus-stop jus outside my hotel. apparently bus-stop = Some bus stops there.
20th Aug : Interview. didn't seem like an interview at all. i mean, it was more like an informal interview. she asked me some questions, i answered, she seemed quite impressed, I asked some questions, she answered, end of interview. can't really remember the contents of the interview, to be honest.
and one thing, i'm beginning to think its standard to appear impressed there. u dun really know wat they Really feel underneath. its like... they're quite fake. to put it simply. and they look jus like me when im pretending to be interested in some obscure topic when all im doing is concentrating on looking interested.
scary.
tired now, will continue later.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
going off to the US now. realise i haven't blogged lately.
guess i'll have lots to write about when i come back. heh.
u know, come to think of it, i Am getting a bit... apprehensive. about going there alone. i mean, i havent really cared about it beforehand, but now... last minute jitters?
lets jus hope everything turns out alright yah? *nervous smile*
guess i'll have lots to write about when i come back. heh.
u know, come to think of it, i Am getting a bit... apprehensive. about going there alone. i mean, i havent really cared about it beforehand, but now... last minute jitters?
lets jus hope everything turns out alright yah? *nervous smile*
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
sigh lately i've been thinking of so many things, but jus cant get them down on paper. ok on the keyboard. or web. watever.
maybe i've been too tired.
oh i'm still desperate for a girlfriend. hormones still doing their thang.
and oh had a really Slack day today. had breakfast in the canteen (was entitled to 'cause i did duty yesterday and i'm no longer a 'new' medic :P) then did 1 1/2 hours of work before going out to various places to dispatch some stuff. played soccer after that. (jus nice lah, i arrived jus on time.)
then had seoul garden wit mark.
ate Lots of beef. and quite an amount of chicken.
and a minimal amount of veggies i insisted on putting in to provide fibre which we all need in our diet.
anyways. didnt get to watch supersize me. or brotherhood. or king arthur. sigh.
oh! oh yah. heard many people say king arthur isnt worth watching. i beg to differ. i mean, its jus like watching an extended warcraft III cut-scene right? damn nice. its enough for me.
if im not making any sense its cause im too tired to think straight. yeah.
maybe i've been too tired.
oh i'm still desperate for a girlfriend. hormones still doing their thang.
and oh had a really Slack day today. had breakfast in the canteen (was entitled to 'cause i did duty yesterday and i'm no longer a 'new' medic :P) then did 1 1/2 hours of work before going out to various places to dispatch some stuff. played soccer after that. (jus nice lah, i arrived jus on time.)
then had seoul garden wit mark.
ate Lots of beef. and quite an amount of chicken.
and a minimal amount of veggies i insisted on putting in to provide fibre which we all need in our diet.
anyways. didnt get to watch supersize me. or brotherhood. or king arthur. sigh.
oh! oh yah. heard many people say king arthur isnt worth watching. i beg to differ. i mean, its jus like watching an extended warcraft III cut-scene right? damn nice. its enough for me.
if im not making any sense its cause im too tired to think straight. yeah.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Friday, July 09, 2004
oh. i jus got to know dat i'll prob hafta stay-in from next week onwards. apparently this new CO wants Everybody to stay-in.
which means a total loss of freedom for me.
CRAP.
TOTAL CRAP.
sigh i cant help remembering last night when i was suddenly attacked by a bout of euphoria.
remember thinking, Why the Heck am i feeling so happy???
and then, This is bad. Everytime i feel so high, Something wrong's bound to happen soon.
how right i was.
which means a total loss of freedom for me.
CRAP.
TOTAL CRAP.
sigh i cant help remembering last night when i was suddenly attacked by a bout of euphoria.
remember thinking, Why the Heck am i feeling so happy???
and then, This is bad. Everytime i feel so high, Something wrong's bound to happen soon.
how right i was.
sigh.
lost my wallet today.
dun ask me how, i dun know!!! (for the umpteenth time, i placed it in my pocket last night when i slept, didnt check it was there in the morning and only discovered it was gone after covering ippt, when i felt hungry and wanted to eat.)
sigh.
$80 gone. dats 20 in the wallet, 50 for my replacement 11B and 10 for my replacement debit card.
wouldnt have minded paying for a new debit card, its kind of... tattered? but 50 bucks!!! for a damn 11B!!!!
although yah lah it needs replacing, my details are coming out. but still!!!!
argh.
still cant get over it.
i mean, i assume somebody's taken it, since i've searched EVERYWHERE, and its like... if u want my money jus take it, jus return me my wallet with my 11B can???
kau.
make me pay Dat much for my cards. And make me go through the hassle of cancelling the card for a week.
now i cant withdraw money for a week.
and payday's tomorrow.
imagine the agony man.
crap.
total crap.
lost my wallet today.
dun ask me how, i dun know!!! (for the umpteenth time, i placed it in my pocket last night when i slept, didnt check it was there in the morning and only discovered it was gone after covering ippt, when i felt hungry and wanted to eat.)
sigh.
$80 gone. dats 20 in the wallet, 50 for my replacement 11B and 10 for my replacement debit card.
wouldnt have minded paying for a new debit card, its kind of... tattered? but 50 bucks!!! for a damn 11B!!!!
although yah lah it needs replacing, my details are coming out. but still!!!!
argh.
still cant get over it.
i mean, i assume somebody's taken it, since i've searched EVERYWHERE, and its like... if u want my money jus take it, jus return me my wallet with my 11B can???
kau.
make me pay Dat much for my cards. And make me go through the hassle of cancelling the card for a week.
now i cant withdraw money for a week.
and payday's tomorrow.
imagine the agony man.
crap.
total crap.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Saturday, June 19, 2004
As you know, my grandpa passed away last sunday at around 3am in the morning. i was amongst those who were by his side.
After a great number of minutes spent grieving, my relatives decided to hold a 5-day wake at our home before cremating him on thursday morning. and decided to call singapore casket to 'bao' the whole funeral.
they were damn efficient, u know, set up the tents and all dat within hours. the appropriate rituals were done by professional monks too. (heard dat one of them drove a BMW.) wasnt too bad, in general. couple of grandpa's friends came, not to mention the whole extended family... several friends of my relatives came... sze, tuan and ayline came over too.
didnt feel particularly sad during the whole funeral though. it was as if... at the back of my mind, there was this thought, he's dead, his soul's actually gone, what we're doing is jus... for formality's sake...
i dunno. it was like in stark contrast to the extreme sadness i felt last year when my other grandpa as well as my granduncle passed away, and i had to attend their funeral, and cremation, respectively. then, i couldnt help thinking back on the moments we'd spent together, and have tears well up in my eyes... even now, these feelings have not gone...
but this year, i felt no such grief. alright, not so much as compared to last year. there was more like this... sense of relief. as well as this... insulation? this... layer that i feel is protecting me from the grief i might otherwise not bear?
relief as in i saw my grandpa suffering for so long... he.. couldnt even eat! or control his urinary/bowel movements. he looked so.... sad after the fall. and he was bedridden. wat worse thing can happen to u when u cant enjoy the simple pleasures of life like he did when he would exercise each morning by walking up and down the slope, the concrete path? then follow dat up with his daily breakfast of a banana, mueslibix? is dat the name? an egg... some bran... and milk... then he would settle down in his chair to read the newspapers... dissect the chinese newspapers such dat each sheet was separated from the rest (put me off chinese newspapers, dat did)... then at lunchtime he would want us to switch on the tv so he could listen to the 1pm news... then he'd take a nap... then go downstairs to sit in his chair and perhaps watch tv/korean/jap serials with my grandma? never knew wat he did then... was always upstairs... then have a shower and watch the 630 'shi chen jin ri' before taking dinner and napping? before watching the 10 o'clock news (sometimes)... and sleeping...
come to think of it i Knew his mundane routine and the thought that he couldnt do all that... i felt really sad for him. and then he had to get used to having a female nurse (and an unattractive one at dat) care for his daily needs...
in a way, u know, im glad he's finally passed on and not have to suffer all dat?
and this insulation. i think i understand the power of prayer, in a way, now. i remember distinctively repeating the first line of dat poster in the sickbay... yes 'Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change'. it was dat simple sentence which really helped prevent me from breaking down dat night. alright it wasnt a prayer. but sometimes... i guess u jus need a sentence.. a thought... Anything. to hold on to to survive. perhaps prayers work in dat way. and perhaps the thought dat there is a God who cares for us is powerful enough to help us continue our lives, even with the passing on of our loved ones.
After a great number of minutes spent grieving, my relatives decided to hold a 5-day wake at our home before cremating him on thursday morning. and decided to call singapore casket to 'bao' the whole funeral.
they were damn efficient, u know, set up the tents and all dat within hours. the appropriate rituals were done by professional monks too. (heard dat one of them drove a BMW.) wasnt too bad, in general. couple of grandpa's friends came, not to mention the whole extended family... several friends of my relatives came... sze, tuan and ayline came over too.
didnt feel particularly sad during the whole funeral though. it was as if... at the back of my mind, there was this thought, he's dead, his soul's actually gone, what we're doing is jus... for formality's sake...
i dunno. it was like in stark contrast to the extreme sadness i felt last year when my other grandpa as well as my granduncle passed away, and i had to attend their funeral, and cremation, respectively. then, i couldnt help thinking back on the moments we'd spent together, and have tears well up in my eyes... even now, these feelings have not gone...
but this year, i felt no such grief. alright, not so much as compared to last year. there was more like this... sense of relief. as well as this... insulation? this... layer that i feel is protecting me from the grief i might otherwise not bear?
relief as in i saw my grandpa suffering for so long... he.. couldnt even eat! or control his urinary/bowel movements. he looked so.... sad after the fall. and he was bedridden. wat worse thing can happen to u when u cant enjoy the simple pleasures of life like he did when he would exercise each morning by walking up and down the slope, the concrete path? then follow dat up with his daily breakfast of a banana, mueslibix? is dat the name? an egg... some bran... and milk... then he would settle down in his chair to read the newspapers... dissect the chinese newspapers such dat each sheet was separated from the rest (put me off chinese newspapers, dat did)... then at lunchtime he would want us to switch on the tv so he could listen to the 1pm news... then he'd take a nap... then go downstairs to sit in his chair and perhaps watch tv/korean/jap serials with my grandma? never knew wat he did then... was always upstairs... then have a shower and watch the 630 'shi chen jin ri' before taking dinner and napping? before watching the 10 o'clock news (sometimes)... and sleeping...
come to think of it i Knew his mundane routine and the thought that he couldnt do all that... i felt really sad for him. and then he had to get used to having a female nurse (and an unattractive one at dat) care for his daily needs...
in a way, u know, im glad he's finally passed on and not have to suffer all dat?
and this insulation. i think i understand the power of prayer, in a way, now. i remember distinctively repeating the first line of dat poster in the sickbay... yes 'Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change'. it was dat simple sentence which really helped prevent me from breaking down dat night. alright it wasnt a prayer. but sometimes... i guess u jus need a sentence.. a thought... Anything. to hold on to to survive. perhaps prayers work in dat way. and perhaps the thought dat there is a God who cares for us is powerful enough to help us continue our lives, even with the passing on of our loved ones.
Sunday, June 13, 2004
My grandpa's dead. passed away this morning at around 3am.
Was there, taking his pulse, until the very end.
Odd, you know, when you realise there are some things you jus cant change and self-defensive mechanisms jus set in. im feeling damn numb now.
or perhaps the reason y im not breaking down is the poster i remembered.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change.
Was there, taking his pulse, until the very end.
Odd, you know, when you realise there are some things you jus cant change and self-defensive mechanisms jus set in. im feeling damn numb now.
or perhaps the reason y im not breaking down is the poster i remembered.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change.
Friday, June 11, 2004
there's this poster in the sickbay which i find very inspiring, especially for this path i'm probably gonna take in my life.
God, Grant me
The Serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
The Courage to change the things i can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
im not really one who's into God and all, wait correction i believe in God, not religion... but yeah. Let me change what i can.
why is it only christians who mass-produce such inspiring posters? :P
God, Grant me
The Serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
The Courage to change the things i can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
im not really one who's into God and all, wait correction i believe in God, not religion... but yeah. Let me change what i can.
why is it only christians who mass-produce such inspiring posters? :P
Thursday, June 10, 2004
its been so... surreal, today. the morning passed by uneventfully.... but after lunch everything went wrong. first only 3 of us were left in admin. which left us pretty much short-staffed.
Then. one of the guys went off for some cover. which left the 2 of us. a "senior" and me, an inexperienced ojt. and 2 TSS-es which knew nothing about medical stuff.
there were a total of 53 patients in the afternoon. i was like busy like MAD taking down the parameters and all until about 330. only got a breather after that.
walked into the main office after dat. which proved to be DAMN wrong a step.
i saw some sheets of registration slips untouched at the 'tray' whilst the other guy was busy with this difficult major. handed them to the TSS at the com to key them in. then went out again as more patients were coming in.
after everyone was gone we were called into the MO's room.
got reprimanded. and signed 2 extras.
oh well.
Then. one of the guys went off for some cover. which left the 2 of us. a "senior" and me, an inexperienced ojt. and 2 TSS-es which knew nothing about medical stuff.
there were a total of 53 patients in the afternoon. i was like busy like MAD taking down the parameters and all until about 330. only got a breather after that.
walked into the main office after dat. which proved to be DAMN wrong a step.
i saw some sheets of registration slips untouched at the 'tray' whilst the other guy was busy with this difficult major. handed them to the TSS at the com to key them in. then went out again as more patients were coming in.
after everyone was gone we were called into the MO's room.
got reprimanded. and signed 2 extras.
oh well.
Saturday, June 05, 2004
u know sometimes although u've done nothing much u feel jus... exhausted? weary, the word is.
been feeling like that for the past few days. cant even summon enough energy to blog. not to say run as i had planned to.
am going for deployment tomorrow. wait make that tonight. gonna stay-in 'cause i'll hafta leave camp by 0545 tomorrow morning.
sigh.
been feeling like that for the past few days. cant even summon enough energy to blog. not to say run as i had planned to.
am going for deployment tomorrow. wait make that tonight. gonna stay-in 'cause i'll hafta leave camp by 0545 tomorrow morning.
sigh.
Sunday, May 30, 2004
i've a new pair of slippers now.
and.... A NEW PHONE!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!
turned out my accidental dropping of my phone yesterday was a blessing in disguise... my mum bought me a new one!!!!!! a nokia 3120. to be specific. YAHOO!!!!!!!!! :D
but sigh. next week's SAT. and i have duty on sunday. so basically its another weekend burnt.
:(
and.... A NEW PHONE!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!
turned out my accidental dropping of my phone yesterday was a blessing in disguise... my mum bought me a new one!!!!!! a nokia 3120. to be specific. YAHOO!!!!!!!!! :D
but sigh. next week's SAT. and i have duty on sunday. so basically its another weekend burnt.
:(
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
going on another exercise tomorrow. ends on friday. then after dat i'll be doing ops duty so i wont be back till sunday.
when i take my second-last driving lesson (i hope) and hafta fetch my mum back from the airport.
saw two medics fighting today. ok, it was more like one guy threatening to hit the other, but in the end nothing much happened, i guess. was damn stunned. i mean, i never expected them to be so violent.
reminds me of sec 1, when i was like... bullied? by this guy once. was in tears man. i think That was the incident that prompted me to get fit. or at least look fit. (like i do now haha) guess its about... preventive action. its like u have that "come de zui me, i dare u to, im not f***ing afraid of u" look, people dont dare to bully u? appear nice, but 'show your power' sometimes. subtly.
haha dat sounds like its coming from some beng rite? perhaps if i wasnt born into this nice family of mine i'll be out slugging in the streets. and enjoying it. perhaps dat is y i like having friends who've been there and done that too. like this guy who's been to jail before. and have learnt from it.
but i guess to most people i jus appear as this nice guy who wouldnt kill a fly huh? heh. upbringing lah. i mean, after all, i Am a nice guy who normally wouldnt kill a fly. if it doesnt bother me excessively. (wouldnt want to dirty my hands too.)
haha ok enough of rambling thoughts. u know, sometimes i jus feel like im too mature for my age. so many things have happened... that shouldnt have happened to an innocent 20-year-old guy. sometimes i wish i could really be as innocent as i look. as cheerful as i look. as couldnt-care-less-about-the-world as i look.
ah, well.
when i take my second-last driving lesson (i hope) and hafta fetch my mum back from the airport.
saw two medics fighting today. ok, it was more like one guy threatening to hit the other, but in the end nothing much happened, i guess. was damn stunned. i mean, i never expected them to be so violent.
reminds me of sec 1, when i was like... bullied? by this guy once. was in tears man. i think That was the incident that prompted me to get fit. or at least look fit. (like i do now haha) guess its about... preventive action. its like u have that "come de zui me, i dare u to, im not f***ing afraid of u" look, people dont dare to bully u? appear nice, but 'show your power' sometimes. subtly.
haha dat sounds like its coming from some beng rite? perhaps if i wasnt born into this nice family of mine i'll be out slugging in the streets. and enjoying it. perhaps dat is y i like having friends who've been there and done that too. like this guy who's been to jail before. and have learnt from it.
but i guess to most people i jus appear as this nice guy who wouldnt kill a fly huh? heh. upbringing lah. i mean, after all, i Am a nice guy who normally wouldnt kill a fly. if it doesnt bother me excessively. (wouldnt want to dirty my hands too.)
haha ok enough of rambling thoughts. u know, sometimes i jus feel like im too mature for my age. so many things have happened... that shouldnt have happened to an innocent 20-year-old guy. sometimes i wish i could really be as innocent as i look. as cheerful as i look. as couldnt-care-less-about-the-world as i look.
ah, well.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
im back today!! yay!!! haha confinement wasnt half as bad as i imagined, and sgt richard, my senior medic 2ic, was damn nice about it too. let me off at 5 today.
and oh! i've passed my final theory test!!! jus two more lessons to go before i can book for the test!!! yahoO!!!!!
but eh 1 unfortunate thing happened though. i failed my ippt. 2.4 in fact. so yeah have started to train for it. i'll go for silver man!!!!
and oh! i've passed my final theory test!!! jus two more lessons to go before i can book for the test!!! yahoO!!!!!
but eh 1 unfortunate thing happened though. i failed my ippt. 2.4 in fact. so yeah have started to train for it. i'll go for silver man!!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
so i've just got back from a day's duty at the medical centre.
horrible day it was.
3 resuscitation cases (ie casualties needed immediate help and had to be subjected to various tortures like having an anal probe inserted up their a**es) of which yeah i did the inserting. oh it takes the temperature there, which is more accurate than ur oral temperature, in case u didnt know. and yes, i Did see the various sizes of male sexual organs as i, together with another medic, did the stripping of the casualties. haha cant resist saying this, but im proud of myself. heh. haha.
Anyways. the point was, 2 resus cases came in the night. 10 and 12+, in fact.
which was not all. assorted cases brought in meant that i had to take two-hourly parameters of the patients. ie i had to wake up (and wake the patients up) every two hours jus to take their temperature, BP, pulse and respiration rates. dat started from 12+ all the way till 7am. and since there were SEVEN patients (the sickbay was COMPLETELY filled) by the time i finished taking all their parameters i got to sleep for an hour before the next parameter taking.
which means i slept for a total of 4 hours last night. fitful sleep. not the kind u'd wanna get, actually.
and i got no official rest today other than an hour early off work (for which i really thanks the MO, but actually made not much difference as it was spent on travelling). so basically i sleptwalked through the whole day, dispensing medicine to patients who came to report sick. (but at least i know i didnt dispense any drugs wrongly, 5 weeks spent there aint for nothing)
And after all dat work, i took my final theory test! cant say whether im gonna pass (everytime i say im gonna score i dun) but yeah! was still alert enough to take it. with the help of coke that is. caffeine and glucose= lethal combination.
and im not really dat tired now too!
but still. it was a truly horrible day.
and to think of it. i have duty again this friday. And next tuesday. And next friday. ok friday im not so worried 'cause most people would jus wanna go home and not stay in the sickbay *fingers crossed* but next tues... gosh im dreading it already...
horrible day it was.
3 resuscitation cases (ie casualties needed immediate help and had to be subjected to various tortures like having an anal probe inserted up their a**es) of which yeah i did the inserting. oh it takes the temperature there, which is more accurate than ur oral temperature, in case u didnt know. and yes, i Did see the various sizes of male sexual organs as i, together with another medic, did the stripping of the casualties. haha cant resist saying this, but im proud of myself. heh. haha.
Anyways. the point was, 2 resus cases came in the night. 10 and 12+, in fact.
which was not all. assorted cases brought in meant that i had to take two-hourly parameters of the patients. ie i had to wake up (and wake the patients up) every two hours jus to take their temperature, BP, pulse and respiration rates. dat started from 12+ all the way till 7am. and since there were SEVEN patients (the sickbay was COMPLETELY filled) by the time i finished taking all their parameters i got to sleep for an hour before the next parameter taking.
which means i slept for a total of 4 hours last night. fitful sleep. not the kind u'd wanna get, actually.
and i got no official rest today other than an hour early off work (for which i really thanks the MO, but actually made not much difference as it was spent on travelling). so basically i sleptwalked through the whole day, dispensing medicine to patients who came to report sick. (but at least i know i didnt dispense any drugs wrongly, 5 weeks spent there aint for nothing)
And after all dat work, i took my final theory test! cant say whether im gonna pass (everytime i say im gonna score i dun) but yeah! was still alert enough to take it. with the help of coke that is. caffeine and glucose= lethal combination.
and im not really dat tired now too!
but still. it was a truly horrible day.
and to think of it. i have duty again this friday. And next tuesday. And next friday. ok friday im not so worried 'cause most people would jus wanna go home and not stay in the sickbay *fingers crossed* but next tues... gosh im dreading it already...
Saturday, May 08, 2004
have decided to write something totally irrelevant.
i think the hair on our heads are there for a purpose. the longer the hair, the better the rate of heat dissipation and thus the better the functioning of the brain. why else would there be such extraordinary long hair on our heads, as compared to the rest of the body? i mean, we are the results of thousands of years of evolution and im sure if it didnt serve a purpose it'd had to be gone like a few hundred years right? or at least reduced to more proportionate... oh well proportions. by dat i mean yeah those pitifully thin threads we have on the rest of us.
so yeah, i think their purpose Is to make better economic use of our brainpower. 'cause yah. we need cool minds to think. esp when we're stressed. (and dat's y we sweat more when we're afraid).
and So, i've also come to the conclusion that it IS a ploy by the SAF to shave (almost) all hair off recruits. yeah to disallow the privilege of thinking to them. another evidence in point : after bmt, only sideburns and hair nearest the neck (and ears) have to be shaved off. for the sake of neatness? i don't think so. its more likely 'cause they're situated near our brain stem, where everything's already been pre-programmed into our bodies (ie automatic stuff like the need to eat and sleep) and basically we don't need to utilise it that often. so we can Still think.
unlike recruits.
and oh i think the reason y women with long hair are more attractive is their... extensive knowledge regarding the art of making up. they have the extra advantage of their hair to better think, and thus attract men. and oh jus for the fun of it i think blonde hair's more effective than black-coloured hair in dissipating heat. somehow.
i like smart women.
haha
i think the hair on our heads are there for a purpose. the longer the hair, the better the rate of heat dissipation and thus the better the functioning of the brain. why else would there be such extraordinary long hair on our heads, as compared to the rest of the body? i mean, we are the results of thousands of years of evolution and im sure if it didnt serve a purpose it'd had to be gone like a few hundred years right? or at least reduced to more proportionate... oh well proportions. by dat i mean yeah those pitifully thin threads we have on the rest of us.
so yeah, i think their purpose Is to make better economic use of our brainpower. 'cause yah. we need cool minds to think. esp when we're stressed. (and dat's y we sweat more when we're afraid).
and So, i've also come to the conclusion that it IS a ploy by the SAF to shave (almost) all hair off recruits. yeah to disallow the privilege of thinking to them. another evidence in point : after bmt, only sideburns and hair nearest the neck (and ears) have to be shaved off. for the sake of neatness? i don't think so. its more likely 'cause they're situated near our brain stem, where everything's already been pre-programmed into our bodies (ie automatic stuff like the need to eat and sleep) and basically we don't need to utilise it that often. so we can Still think.
unlike recruits.
and oh i think the reason y women with long hair are more attractive is their... extensive knowledge regarding the art of making up. they have the extra advantage of their hair to better think, and thus attract men. and oh jus for the fun of it i think blonde hair's more effective than black-coloured hair in dissipating heat. somehow.
i like smart women.
haha
Friday, May 07, 2004
Saturday, May 01, 2004
oh im going on deployment on monday. this exercise dats gonna last for 5 days, meaning i'll be out somewhere in the jungles(?) of singapore, wont be able to bathe and all dat.
lets see how its gonna be like.
anyways. dun know y i've been feeling quite down recently. well not really down, more... tensed up, i guess. more prone to sudden outbursts of anger.
perhaps its me thinking hey, you're not doing wat u want with ur life rite now. ur unit isnt letting u do dat. wat u've planned to accomplish hasnt been done.
in pamela's words, 'wat has army done to my kor'? (but oh i've finished my course long ago :P)
wat has army done to me???
lets see how its gonna be like.
anyways. dun know y i've been feeling quite down recently. well not really down, more... tensed up, i guess. more prone to sudden outbursts of anger.
perhaps its me thinking hey, you're not doing wat u want with ur life rite now. ur unit isnt letting u do dat. wat u've planned to accomplish hasnt been done.
in pamela's words, 'wat has army done to my kor'? (but oh i've finished my course long ago :P)
wat has army done to me???
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