i visited two of my teachers yesterday! 2 teachers dat jus gave birth, ok not just, a few months ago, and were on maternity leave. for those who studied in nj they're mrs lynda teo and mrs ng shien. cool i tell u. i mean not jus the weather lah there was like a thunderstorm or sth the whole afternoon even the visits themselves were like hey not bad! the babies were like ssssssoooooooooooo cuteeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha hmm quite unlike me to gush like dat rite. but hey. All babies are cute arent they? i remember i had (ok have. or had?) this baby cousin who i like spent lotsa time with playing and stuff... and still do in fact. i play chess with him almost every week now although he's barely 7! smart rite??? haha yah they're so cute! even when they like salivate and all as long as u dun touch the saliva hey its fun like jus shaking hands/one lonely finger with them! although i didnt get to do so with mrs ng's baby she and her husband were like so engrossed with their baby i didnt dare do anything with it. plus it was so far.
but anyways. those gals who are contemplating having babies, hey go have them. no not jus because they're cute and all but when they say they're bundles of joy (ok i've got my pronouns all wrong but wat the heck my SAT IIs are OVER!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!) its true lah. i mean, i went for dinner at night after all the visiting with my mum and sis and hey. my mum seemed very happy. not dat i'm bhb-ing and stuff but hey me and my sis, and even my bro who gives her Lots of trouble sigh Do make her life more interesting im sure she would agree. completely! and think of the joy U've brought ur parents. heh
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Friday, November 21, 2003
havent written for a while so here's an update of my life!
life's great!!!!!!!
1. i managed to drive out on the open road last sun, and prob will again on sun! reached up to speeds of 70km/h. yeah man! cool!
2. I've been reaching home like 4 almost everyday now! so shuang rite? and im under this officer/doctor who i feel is a real good leader. i'll willingly work for him i tell ya. he's great.
3. I'm going diving! or at least i hope so lah. but yah if i can then yeah!!!!!! woohooo!!!!!! (ok lah so my life's quite boring k)
4. i still have $100 left in my bank account! thought it would be taken out as insurance money leaving me $20 for the whole month but no i have money!!!!!! yay!!!!!!! haha hey i only had $40 to last me the whole month k :(
5. i've heard this good song. 'perfect' by simple plan. tugs at my heartstrings i tell u. serious.
6. ok i've run out of points.
but i guess u dun need many reasons to be happy do u? ^_^
life's great!!!!!!!
1. i managed to drive out on the open road last sun, and prob will again on sun! reached up to speeds of 70km/h. yeah man! cool!
2. I've been reaching home like 4 almost everyday now! so shuang rite? and im under this officer/doctor who i feel is a real good leader. i'll willingly work for him i tell ya. he's great.
3. I'm going diving! or at least i hope so lah. but yah if i can then yeah!!!!!! woohooo!!!!!! (ok lah so my life's quite boring k)
4. i still have $100 left in my bank account! thought it would be taken out as insurance money leaving me $20 for the whole month but no i have money!!!!!! yay!!!!!!! haha hey i only had $40 to last me the whole month k :(
5. i've heard this good song. 'perfect' by simple plan. tugs at my heartstrings i tell u. serious.
6. ok i've run out of points.
but i guess u dun need many reasons to be happy do u? ^_^
Friday, November 14, 2003
since some of my friends are gonna read this i guess i'd better sound more like myself in these blogs i've written.
so disregard watever i've written before this alright?
ok.
so today was a great day. got let off early from work. around 3 it was i think. spent the afternoon playing the sims. quite fun, actually. i managed to get 1 guy hitched with 3 girls, got him married with 2 of them, then i got bored and hooked one of the married women with another guy. and tried to make the other married gal a bi. the com crashed before i could make the les move in though.
funny u know, how the sims seems to mirror real life. the basic needs we have... fun... social... hunger... bladder.. hygiene... even energy levels!
the expresso machine doesnt seem too realistic though. i can stay awake for hours jus with 1 cup of coffee.
and i dun really care much about room either. the size of the room im in. not claustrophobic. dunno how to spell it but yah hope i've got it correct.
oh wait. this doesnt sound like me does it? im not so... pensive? crappy?
ok.
disregard this post as well.
so disregard watever i've written before this alright?
ok.
so today was a great day. got let off early from work. around 3 it was i think. spent the afternoon playing the sims. quite fun, actually. i managed to get 1 guy hitched with 3 girls, got him married with 2 of them, then i got bored and hooked one of the married women with another guy. and tried to make the other married gal a bi. the com crashed before i could make the les move in though.
funny u know, how the sims seems to mirror real life. the basic needs we have... fun... social... hunger... bladder.. hygiene... even energy levels!
the expresso machine doesnt seem too realistic though. i can stay awake for hours jus with 1 cup of coffee.
and i dun really care much about room either. the size of the room im in. not claustrophobic. dunno how to spell it but yah hope i've got it correct.
oh wait. this doesnt sound like me does it? im not so... pensive? crappy?
ok.
disregard this post as well.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
i have so much to write, but i dun really know where to begin.
i guess i'll jus start with wat i found out today.
i found the meaning of life. well, sorta.
i got it from the matrix, actually. it sorta inspired me.
i dunno, they (the reviewers) say there isnt anything good in revolutions besides the sentinels vs zion scene. there isnt much meaning. the architect's statements in reloaded arent explained.
well i think the statements he made Have been explained.
but that doesnt matter.
wat matters to me is the words of hugo weaving, smith, when he says 'is it ..., justice or love ur fighting for? ... to justify ur meaningless existence? ...'
im deeply touched by dat statement.
seriously.
its like... it epitomises wat everyone's fighting for isnt it? the meaninglessness of it all. we Give meaning to watever it is we live for. i mean, if u look at it so many of us, when we're young and innocent and rebellious and all we think of the meaning of life. wat it is we actually want to do with our lives. why we are born. and so on.
especially our generation.
wonder if our fathers, mothers ever thought about it huh? the meaning of life.
i guess they jus lived, strived for watever it was they strived for. and i dare they many, if not most of them, are happy now.
why is this so?
why is it that most people do not suffer from this middle-age syndrome (forgot the term) dat causes them to ask yet again wat they want from life?
i believe that is because they have lived.
they have been happy because they Did everything they wanted to. some of them were born poor - they made creating wealth their Meaning of life. some wanted to have a happy family of their own - they started families, and spoilt their kids happily. some wanted to educate the next generation - they became teachers. teachers who really inspired people like me.
in all - they made wat they wanted out of life. they were happy in watever it was they did. and they found the meaning of life.
i dare say those who are still moping around seeking the true meaning of life while living off wat their parents strived so hard to achieve - for is it not mostly people who have had everything they wanted who have time to search for wat they Truly want? - will never find true happiness. unless they act.
wittgenstein believed in working hard. i could hardly agree more with him.
i guess i'll jus start with wat i found out today.
i found the meaning of life. well, sorta.
i got it from the matrix, actually. it sorta inspired me.
i dunno, they (the reviewers) say there isnt anything good in revolutions besides the sentinels vs zion scene. there isnt much meaning. the architect's statements in reloaded arent explained.
well i think the statements he made Have been explained.
but that doesnt matter.
wat matters to me is the words of hugo weaving, smith, when he says 'is it ..., justice or love ur fighting for? ... to justify ur meaningless existence? ...'
im deeply touched by dat statement.
seriously.
its like... it epitomises wat everyone's fighting for isnt it? the meaninglessness of it all. we Give meaning to watever it is we live for. i mean, if u look at it so many of us, when we're young and innocent and rebellious and all we think of the meaning of life. wat it is we actually want to do with our lives. why we are born. and so on.
especially our generation.
wonder if our fathers, mothers ever thought about it huh? the meaning of life.
i guess they jus lived, strived for watever it was they strived for. and i dare they many, if not most of them, are happy now.
why is this so?
why is it that most people do not suffer from this middle-age syndrome (forgot the term) dat causes them to ask yet again wat they want from life?
i believe that is because they have lived.
they have been happy because they Did everything they wanted to. some of them were born poor - they made creating wealth their Meaning of life. some wanted to have a happy family of their own - they started families, and spoilt their kids happily. some wanted to educate the next generation - they became teachers. teachers who really inspired people like me.
in all - they made wat they wanted out of life. they were happy in watever it was they did. and they found the meaning of life.
i dare say those who are still moping around seeking the true meaning of life while living off wat their parents strived so hard to achieve - for is it not mostly people who have had everything they wanted who have time to search for wat they Truly want? - will never find true happiness. unless they act.
wittgenstein believed in working hard. i could hardly agree more with him.
Sunday, November 09, 2003
i have this pet complaint : girls seem to be scared of becoming close friends with me!
its like. i feel like many girls seem to shy away from me when i want to become like closer friends with them. i dunno, am i really that scary? or i am like jus dat kind of guy where u want to know and not want to know well.
its not like i have no close gal friends. muxian...ayline...dee..el... sangee... its like i feel real at ease with them, like theres no wat do u call dat? sexual tension? watever. with them. its like im jus myself. ok maybe diff sides of myself. if ur nice to me im a nice guy to u. dats my philosophy. sorta.
but yah. there are like Lots of girls who i dunno? feel im unapproachable? are scared of me? dislike me?
ok so maybe i have times where i really dun feel like talking or meeting anyone. and there are people i'd rather not know. but these are few and far between.
and i dun eye every gal who looks the least bit pretty with lecherous eyes so y???
why?
why.
its like. i feel like many girls seem to shy away from me when i want to become like closer friends with them. i dunno, am i really that scary? or i am like jus dat kind of guy where u want to know and not want to know well.
its not like i have no close gal friends. muxian...ayline...dee..el... sangee... its like i feel real at ease with them, like theres no wat do u call dat? sexual tension? watever. with them. its like im jus myself. ok maybe diff sides of myself. if ur nice to me im a nice guy to u. dats my philosophy. sorta.
but yah. there are like Lots of girls who i dunno? feel im unapproachable? are scared of me? dislike me?
ok so maybe i have times where i really dun feel like talking or meeting anyone. and there are people i'd rather not know. but these are few and far between.
and i dun eye every gal who looks the least bit pretty with lecherous eyes so y???
why?
why.
i've jus realised wat i need is not a girlfriend. i guess wat i need is jus a companion. or many of 'em. to do stuff with. any sort of stuff.
i guess im not ready to commit jus yet. u know the commitment to take care of someone for the rest of their lives? i cant do that. not when im leaving (most prob) for the US in 2 years time.
anyway being single's not bad, i've realised. like last night's performance, i was like the only chinese 19 year-old who stayed for the whole performance, and this interaction with these performers after dat. the only other people who i spotted of my age was a couple (i figure) who left after the performance proper. who seemed bored. haha.
and there was this guy - this french guy - who was like very INTO the music they performed. there was this thing he said which impressed me. it was something about the performance touching the bottom of his heart. and it did, touch my heart too, that is.
and i guess for that kind of performance, or for any other performances for that purpose, perhaps bringing a companion jus detracts from the performance itself. u jus dun... appreciate the music that well.
and i havent met Any person who is like so open to any sort of music. and whom i like. enough to pursue.
oh well.
i guess im not ready to commit jus yet. u know the commitment to take care of someone for the rest of their lives? i cant do that. not when im leaving (most prob) for the US in 2 years time.
anyway being single's not bad, i've realised. like last night's performance, i was like the only chinese 19 year-old who stayed for the whole performance, and this interaction with these performers after dat. the only other people who i spotted of my age was a couple (i figure) who left after the performance proper. who seemed bored. haha.
and there was this guy - this french guy - who was like very INTO the music they performed. there was this thing he said which impressed me. it was something about the performance touching the bottom of his heart. and it did, touch my heart too, that is.
and i guess for that kind of performance, or for any other performances for that purpose, perhaps bringing a companion jus detracts from the performance itself. u jus dun... appreciate the music that well.
and i havent met Any person who is like so open to any sort of music. and whom i like. enough to pursue.
oh well.
Saturday, November 08, 2003
quite an eventful day today. had a driving lesson. went out on the road. stalled the engine in this major junction, u know the one jus before ajc? haha. got horn-ed by this huge truck behind. i think it wanted to go faster even before i stalled anyways. was going at 30 km/h. haha.
then went swimming. managed to swim 10 laps in 30 mins! 2 laps continous, rest, 4 laps more, rest, then 2 and 2 again. felt quite energised after that.
then watched new zealand beat south africa. like that new zealand guy who was in charge of all the throw-ins. looks smart. determined. no im not gay.
then went to this sitar and cello concert at the esplanade. actually the place doesnt matter. oh wait it does. excellent acoustics, the place has. anyways. the cello wasnt a classical one, it was this german 150 year-old cello kid-sized cello adapted for indian music. 5 strings. and some strings atached to the bridge. very interesting. one of a kind. and the performance was great! there was this excellent percussionist accompanying them. he had this. machine. which made like deep bass beats. which combined well with the sitar and cello.
excellent stuff i tell u.
but the strange thing is, after that performance, while i was like walking back to city hall, this thought suddenly struck me.
i'm diff from the rest.
the rest as in other 19 year old singaporeans.
i saw some of them going off to some club, prob centro, others were like making their way home; yet more were like hanging around doing nothing. they were like so... i dunno, aimless? they looked as if they didnt know wat they were doing with their lives. at all.
i mean, i dun know wat im gonna do with my life too. but i know where i want to go. wat i want to do. and i dun waste my time doing stupid things like looking bored and going ooh-ah at sexy girls at clubs who prob dun give a damn abt u.
wats the point?
anyways i feel old.
u know this other thing, during my tss period before the current course started i realised i clicked with this 23 year old scholar who jus returned from the us.
the funny thing was i felt as if i couldnt click with the others my age.
i mean its not like i feel diff from them or anything, i jus feel as if theres... nothing to talk abt with them. nothing that really interests me. i mean, computer games are fine and always a conversation-opener but after playing for some time, u jus realise they're jus another activity to help u forget about ur real life, temporarily, right?
u cant live on computer games. not unless ur some starcraft or warcraft or cs freak who wins competitions involving thousands of players who spend too much time in front of the com.
movies are fine too. as a topic that is. but.... its like they're all... so... superficial. talking with a stranger doesnt make u any closer to him does it?
or maybe it does.
oh well.
im tired.
then went swimming. managed to swim 10 laps in 30 mins! 2 laps continous, rest, 4 laps more, rest, then 2 and 2 again. felt quite energised after that.
then watched new zealand beat south africa. like that new zealand guy who was in charge of all the throw-ins. looks smart. determined. no im not gay.
then went to this sitar and cello concert at the esplanade. actually the place doesnt matter. oh wait it does. excellent acoustics, the place has. anyways. the cello wasnt a classical one, it was this german 150 year-old cello kid-sized cello adapted for indian music. 5 strings. and some strings atached to the bridge. very interesting. one of a kind. and the performance was great! there was this excellent percussionist accompanying them. he had this. machine. which made like deep bass beats. which combined well with the sitar and cello.
excellent stuff i tell u.
but the strange thing is, after that performance, while i was like walking back to city hall, this thought suddenly struck me.
i'm diff from the rest.
the rest as in other 19 year old singaporeans.
i saw some of them going off to some club, prob centro, others were like making their way home; yet more were like hanging around doing nothing. they were like so... i dunno, aimless? they looked as if they didnt know wat they were doing with their lives. at all.
i mean, i dun know wat im gonna do with my life too. but i know where i want to go. wat i want to do. and i dun waste my time doing stupid things like looking bored and going ooh-ah at sexy girls at clubs who prob dun give a damn abt u.
wats the point?
anyways i feel old.
u know this other thing, during my tss period before the current course started i realised i clicked with this 23 year old scholar who jus returned from the us.
the funny thing was i felt as if i couldnt click with the others my age.
i mean its not like i feel diff from them or anything, i jus feel as if theres... nothing to talk abt with them. nothing that really interests me. i mean, computer games are fine and always a conversation-opener but after playing for some time, u jus realise they're jus another activity to help u forget about ur real life, temporarily, right?
u cant live on computer games. not unless ur some starcraft or warcraft or cs freak who wins competitions involving thousands of players who spend too much time in front of the com.
movies are fine too. as a topic that is. but.... its like they're all... so... superficial. talking with a stranger doesnt make u any closer to him does it?
or maybe it does.
oh well.
im tired.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
ok so i've decided not to sleep jus yet. lots of things to say. ok not really alot but yah some stuff lah i think i need to put down.
i like music.
all sorts of music.
classical music...those wailing operas... pop music... rock... metal... punk... dance... disco... i like 'em al!
depends on my mood lah, actually. when im in a pensive mood i go for like enigma. one of my fav bands. ok so its not really a band cause he's a one-man band (yeah fatboy slim rocks) but yah he (michael cretu) is a great musician in my opinion. but dats out of point. anyways. yah when i feel like thinking deep thoughts like the meaning of life, y we're here and all that i like to listen to his music.
when im like feeling damn frustrated with life too, i turn to his music for salvation. ok salvation is too strong a word and one too often mis-used by religious fanatics who abuse His name by linking it with every fucking phrase they utter. ok im prob gonna get sued. but hey. this is my personal opinion. free speech and all that. and yah im a free-thinker. i believe in god. not religion. and im usually a very mild-mannered person who doesnt utter vulgar language unless i feel damn strong about something i believe in.
yeah.
anyways. when im frustrated or feeling very angry and feel like breaking stuff i listen to metal. like pantera. haha this phrase from zhijing comes into mind - i dun like shin. too noisy. haha erm zhijing if ur reading this shin is like. quiet. compared to pantera. ok not quiet. silent. haha. but yah. and linkin park too. and one particular song from limp bizkit. no im not a fan of theirs but i love this song boiler. its like... the music expresses it all. i dun really like lyrics, unless they're like... meaningful. yeah. words dun mean alot to me i guess. i can say i love u to any girl and i may or may not mean it. its too... unsincere for me.
anyhow. when i feel like chillin out i listen to moby. tchaikovsky. borodin. russian composers lah, actually. i have this cd. damn nice. some songs by some russian composers. and oh yah i listen to orff too. carmina burana. and holst. planets. and gershwin. rhapsody. haha could go on listing more and more composers.
but yah. and when i feel like exercising... like running, or jus workin out, i like listening to songs with strong beats. like audioslave. chemical brothers. faithless. creed. yeah basically dance or hard rock. or maybe the odd pop song.
oh yah did i mention i like listening to jazz music when i feel like jus... relaxing? slacking. jus before sleeping or napping. and the eagles too. led zepplin. no wait led zepplin's more like when i need to keep awake. but page's got nice riffs though. damn good musician. killer riffs. and killer wailing by plant. damn good partnership. and not to forget the bass and the dummer too.
so yah. music i guess plays an integal part in everything i do. some tune is always in my head, some screaming's always there when i need it (like i can do a sepultra impersonation: ROOTZ!!!BLOODY ROOTZ!!!anytime u want me to, its quite fun, actually haha) and yah music, is, me!!!
oh gosh. i feel like im writing an essay. on music or something. ha maybe i'll get to use it in my application for college! heh.
nitez
i like music.
all sorts of music.
classical music...those wailing operas... pop music... rock... metal... punk... dance... disco... i like 'em al!
depends on my mood lah, actually. when im in a pensive mood i go for like enigma. one of my fav bands. ok so its not really a band cause he's a one-man band (yeah fatboy slim rocks) but yah he (michael cretu) is a great musician in my opinion. but dats out of point. anyways. yah when i feel like thinking deep thoughts like the meaning of life, y we're here and all that i like to listen to his music.
when im like feeling damn frustrated with life too, i turn to his music for salvation. ok salvation is too strong a word and one too often mis-used by religious fanatics who abuse His name by linking it with every fucking phrase they utter. ok im prob gonna get sued. but hey. this is my personal opinion. free speech and all that. and yah im a free-thinker. i believe in god. not religion. and im usually a very mild-mannered person who doesnt utter vulgar language unless i feel damn strong about something i believe in.
yeah.
anyways. when im frustrated or feeling very angry and feel like breaking stuff i listen to metal. like pantera. haha this phrase from zhijing comes into mind - i dun like shin. too noisy. haha erm zhijing if ur reading this shin is like. quiet. compared to pantera. ok not quiet. silent. haha. but yah. and linkin park too. and one particular song from limp bizkit. no im not a fan of theirs but i love this song boiler. its like... the music expresses it all. i dun really like lyrics, unless they're like... meaningful. yeah. words dun mean alot to me i guess. i can say i love u to any girl and i may or may not mean it. its too... unsincere for me.
anyhow. when i feel like chillin out i listen to moby. tchaikovsky. borodin. russian composers lah, actually. i have this cd. damn nice. some songs by some russian composers. and oh yah i listen to orff too. carmina burana. and holst. planets. and gershwin. rhapsody. haha could go on listing more and more composers.
but yah. and when i feel like exercising... like running, or jus workin out, i like listening to songs with strong beats. like audioslave. chemical brothers. faithless. creed. yeah basically dance or hard rock. or maybe the odd pop song.
oh yah did i mention i like listening to jazz music when i feel like jus... relaxing? slacking. jus before sleeping or napping. and the eagles too. led zepplin. no wait led zepplin's more like when i need to keep awake. but page's got nice riffs though. damn good musician. killer riffs. and killer wailing by plant. damn good partnership. and not to forget the bass and the dummer too.
so yah. music i guess plays an integal part in everything i do. some tune is always in my head, some screaming's always there when i need it (like i can do a sepultra impersonation: ROOTZ!!!BLOODY ROOTZ!!!anytime u want me to, its quite fun, actually haha) and yah music, is, me!!!
oh gosh. i feel like im writing an essay. on music or something. ha maybe i'll get to use it in my application for college! heh.
nitez
oh wow! my first blog!
ok so im jus supposed to type anything dat comes into mind and let everybody have a glimpse into my complicated deep-sea mind right, since i have deep thoughts and all.
ok so here goes.
i'm bored.
yeah.
u know when i look like i'm deep in thought or something, which is quite often, i'm actually jus letting my mind go blank and yah. stone. letting it rest lah. haha
and oh yah most of the time when i look pre-occupied im jus pre-occupied with some song dats stuck in my head. some tune, rather. like u know, the test by chemical brothers.
oh yah! something to talk about.
the reason y i seem so quiet is jus simply because... i have nothing to talk about! ok if u know me well enough u may find that i Do talk alot, actually. alot of crap. like 'hey look! cracks on the pavement! wonder how it formed.' ok wait i wun say that. thats not typical of me. i would prob go like 'and did u know theres this company which actually profits from putting all this waste into our roads??? and its very profitable?' or i might jus not notice it.
watever.
the point is, if i were to articulate every thought of mine out into the public domain, everybody would shirk away from me as if im some freak gone loose on steroids or something. yeah probably. cause i Am a freak loose on steroids like cholesterol. muhahaha. oh yeah.
anyways. i think i've vented enough frustration for the day. or prob not. but im feeling tired from all this typing. my brain's tired. but not my mind. ah! *looks deep in thought* thought-provoking isnt it. the distinction between the mind and the brain.
wat Is the mind? how is it connected to the brain? our... grey lump of matter sitting snugly in our heads? dats wat im interested to find out btw.
but yah. im tired. i think i should go sleep now. have a great day ahead. whereever you are.
ok so im jus supposed to type anything dat comes into mind and let everybody have a glimpse into my complicated deep-sea mind right, since i have deep thoughts and all.
ok so here goes.
i'm bored.
yeah.
u know when i look like i'm deep in thought or something, which is quite often, i'm actually jus letting my mind go blank and yah. stone. letting it rest lah. haha
and oh yah most of the time when i look pre-occupied im jus pre-occupied with some song dats stuck in my head. some tune, rather. like u know, the test by chemical brothers.
oh yah! something to talk about.
the reason y i seem so quiet is jus simply because... i have nothing to talk about! ok if u know me well enough u may find that i Do talk alot, actually. alot of crap. like 'hey look! cracks on the pavement! wonder how it formed.' ok wait i wun say that. thats not typical of me. i would prob go like 'and did u know theres this company which actually profits from putting all this waste into our roads??? and its very profitable?' or i might jus not notice it.
watever.
the point is, if i were to articulate every thought of mine out into the public domain, everybody would shirk away from me as if im some freak gone loose on steroids or something. yeah probably. cause i Am a freak loose on steroids like cholesterol. muhahaha. oh yeah.
anyways. i think i've vented enough frustration for the day. or prob not. but im feeling tired from all this typing. my brain's tired. but not my mind. ah! *looks deep in thought* thought-provoking isnt it. the distinction between the mind and the brain.
wat Is the mind? how is it connected to the brain? our... grey lump of matter sitting snugly in our heads? dats wat im interested to find out btw.
but yah. im tired. i think i should go sleep now. have a great day ahead. whereever you are.
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